The Story

In case you forgot, on January 2, the second day of 2018, people were already banding together against someone, and for good reason. This was because Logan Paul, a Youtuber, went into Japan's 'Suicide Forest.' It is said to be haunted, and this is the reason Paul initially claimed he went in.

While he was in there, however, Paul found a dead body of someone who had just committed suicide. Instead of turning off the cameras, or at least paying respects to the deceased, he and his friends continued to video, make fun of, and laugh at the dead body. And after, he claimed it was for 'mental health awareness.' How, you ask? That is a great question, because awareness doesn't work like that!

Later that day, only after severe scrutiny, Paul deleted the video, and uploaded an apology video. In the video he apologizes to the internet, people who watched it, people who have been affected by suicide, and last, the victim and his family IN THAT ORDER.

A week later, Youtube responded on their Twitter, explaining that they are planning on removing him from their "top-tier" for monetization. In addition to this, they stated that they are cancelling a film that he was working on with them, and they have written him out of a show on Youtube Red that he was starring in.

Last week, on January 24, Paul uploaded another apology video of himself. In this one, which was about seven minutes long, Paul shares facts about suicide while he walks around, interacting with nature, looks distantly while the camera focuses on him, has landscape shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. In it, he shows his "journey" to educating himself on suicide. This includes talking to someone who attempted suicide, and experts on the subject.

The video starts with Paul talking with Kevin Hines, someone who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge when he was 19 and survived. After Hines states what happened, Paul begins to speak, saying that he has made mistakes, let people down, and that he is on a journey to "Further understand the complexities surrounding suicide."

After this, he adds snippets of news outlets' cover of the story, ranging from one where a woman calls him "a complete and utter insensitive idiot," and ones that are simply explaining that he is taking a little break from vlogging.

Then the camera moves to him cleaning his face, and saying that he is ready to have the hard conversations and grow as a person.

He then speaks to Bob Forrest, the founder of Alo House Recovery Center. When Paul answers a question by saying he didn't realize just how big of an issue this is, Forrest seems skeptical, and for good reason. He asks Paul if he didn't know anyone who killed themselves, and Paul says no, and that is why he was ignorant on the subject. At this point, Forrest is kind of confused, and asks how this is possible because Ohio, where Paul comes from, suicide is the second leading cause of death*.

After this, he goes to New York to speak with Dr. John Draper, the director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Dr. Draper explains that the first thing we need to do is change the conversation from how something is so terrible and tragic, to asking what we can do to help, which he simply says, is to reach out.

Paul then goes to explain how everyone needs to be more compassionate, and mentions that it includes him too. Then he speaks directly to the camera and tells the audience the five steps that he learned from Dr. Draper.

The video now shifts back to Kevin Hines, who then goes into details of his story. He explains that the second he jumped, he felt like he made an instant mistake and regretted it. He mentions how he wanted only one person to look at him and ask if everything was okay, and that he's grateful to be alive. Hines goes on to say how he thinks that people need to be more open about their pain, and everyone needs to come together as a society to help everyone who is going through something.

After a slow motion hug between the two, Paul continues to say that he wants to help contribute to the conversation, so he is dedicating one million dollars to various suicide prevention resources. He also has an anecdote to those watching, wanting them to know that they are not alone and "most of the time, crisis passes."

* I could not find any statistic online that proves this, but I did find that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the states.

An Open Letter to Logan Paul

No. I do not accept your apology. While I am sure that you think you did not know it was wrong to share the video, I can't accept that no one told you not to share it. When has it ever been okay to share someone's corpse, especially one of someone who has just recently taken their own life? You may 'not have known,' I don't believe that none of your friends and family didn't know too. Most people, myself included, typically seek advice on what to post, especially things that relate to serious topics such as suicide.

Additionally, in your new video, you speak to many professionals, and a survivor of suicide, which I commend you on, but what about people who live with depression? Suicide isn't just people who were bullied or have dealt with traumatic experiences. Statistically, 6.7% of the American population (approximately 14.8 million Americans) live with depression, myself included. Depression is treatable, but it is NOT curable.

While you spent your whole video talking about suicide, you didn't mention the word depression once. You didn't mention people who live with a constant battle going on in their heads. If you wanted to raise awareness for mental health, how did you not mention mental disorders? How does laughing at a corpse raise more awareness about things like PTSD, major depression, personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and so many more than mentioning them once? It doesn't, I don't believe there is a single person on this planet that would think that it would, except maybe you, somehow.

In your newest video "Suicide: Be Here Tomorrow," it seems like you couldn't decide whether you wanted to make a Public Service Announcement, or make another video about yourself, saying how wrong you are and apologizing, so you cut some scenes short and it felt everywhere. Why didn't you let Dr. Draper explain the five steps, in length, opposed to the short explanations that don't seem like they'd be effective. But hey, that's just my opinion, as someone who had people do that for me, yet I still nearly committed suicide. What did help? Calling the police and asking them to take me to the hospital because I didn't trust myself. It didn't matter how many times my sisters would ask me how I was and check in with me, it is easy to lie to others. It is easy to lie to yourself.

Depression isn't a constant. I have had days where I thought I was on top of the world. Moments where I felt nothing would ruin my day, and I didn't have depression at all. But you know what? The very next minute someone could look at me, just look, not even in a negative way, and I would instantly feel a dread that overtook every part of my body. The best way I have seen it explained is that it feels like you're drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing.

No matter how many times people say you're not alone, mental health sure makes you feel alone. Even though you may know someone else who has the same diagnosis as you, everyone's experience is different. For some people, depression is so debilitating, they can't perform the same simple acts that people do every day. Someone's anxiety may be so bad they have to talk themselves up for hours just to make a call. Mental disorders are debilitating, and make you feel alone.

Mr. Hines, I understand that your story had a positive ending, but you have allowed Logan Paul to twist your words and make generalizations about everyone who committed suicide. I am happy that you are happy to be alive, but when I was in the hospital for suicidal ideation, there was someone there who confided in me that they attempted suicide, and wished that it succeeded. I know this sounds awful, but some people don't regret it. Sometimes, depression wins. Sometimes, people have simply lost their will to live.

Finally, Logan, I don't care about your money. Why did you have to let us know that you were donating one million dollars? That doesn't change the facts. You videoed someone's corpse, laughed about it, even though you knew they had committed suicide, probably ignored many people who told you posting something like this is not okay, and have the audacity to claim that didn't know that this wasn't okay. You titled the video "We found a dead body in the Japanese Suicide Forest..." You knew it was something wrong, and titled it something that would grab anyone's attention. Essentially, you did this for views and publicity. Your money may help the resources you are donating to, but it doesn't mean you're forgiven.

Money won't solve this problem. Saying your sorry doesn't solve this problem. Did you even call the authorities after discovering the body so the person's family can mourn him properly? Did you meet this person's family and see the horror on their face when they found out their family member is dead? If you did any of this, you would have known how wrong this is.

I am happy that you now *claim* that you understand this was wrong, but I still don't believe you. I want to see what you do in three months, after many people have forgotten about this. I want to see what you do in a year, when the spotlight has changed so many times, this is just a distant memory. Who are you going to be? What are you going to do? Are you going to just give over that million dollars, or are you going to become an advocate for mental health awareness? Are you going to recognize that your apology video was really just another this is about me video, and come out with something that really informs on the matter?

I guess we will have to wait and see, but until then, you are not forgiven.