Dear Lizard Elite
Before I really go into the meat of this letter I have to say that I am not sure if I believe that you exist yet. Okay, that is a lie. I do not believe that the lizard elite exists, but if you do please continue reading this letter. I am rooting for you. Now I am not rooting for you to take over the world but truth is if you did I would not notice. You could probably actually take your human head off and reveal your lizard head to me and I would probably be so deep into my thoughts about last night's dinner I would not even notice.
My first question would have to be, who is a part of your lizard squad? Is it like Taylor Swift's girl squad where it's really exclusive and those who know about it are dying to get in? Or is it just a bunch of acquaintances who do not really know each other too well but know they have a common goal? Can you guys tell who the other lizards are? If I had to guess the people who are in the lizard elite, my first guess would be Walt Disney. My next article will probably be about how Disney controls the world, but this is about you. I think Hilary Clinton could probably be in the Lizard Elite, she has the brains and the ambition I believe each one of you must have. How does it feel knowing someone who is definitely not a part of your group could beat her for president? Her opponent absolutely does not have the same brains and plans she has and therefore cannot be a part of your group in my opinion, but who knows? He could be the head of the mission and I may be sniper rifled for that comment alone. If I die for saying Donald Trump could not be a member of the Lizard Elite, please know I died happy. (Please do not kill me. My mother would be very upset.
My next question would be, is the moon actually hollow and do you reside in it? I'm picturing a kind of death star from Star Wars thing up there and I am not too happy about it. This could be due to the fact that I have only seen A New Hope. Please answer this letter regardless of how you feel about that last fact about me. I'm diving deeper and deeper into this conspiracy the more I write this article and I am liking myself less and less. The correlation is evident. If you live in the hollow moon, the reason we have not found out that the moon is hollow yet is because you control the media. I am actually out in the world trying to make a career for myself, and now this article is going to be up on the internet with my name attached to it. How is that future looking? About as bright as the dark side of the hollow moon.
Love, Marion
P.S. Please companies, overlook this and still hire me,