As most people are, I am comprised and built of many, many things. Many titles that are precious to my heart. Daughter, granddaughter, sister, friend, writer, woman, Christian, thinker. One of my favorite titles is fiancé.

Just as a warning, this is going to get sappy. So, if a sappy, tenderhearted love letter isn't your thing, plug your ears, close your eyes, and maybe find an article about politics, sororities, or awesome places to travel, because right now I'm going to write what my heart is telling me to write: a letter to my fiancé, Kieran, and a letter to girls all around the wide, wide world.

It has been six years since we have met. Six years. It is crazy to think that in early, early spring of 2011, I would meet a long haired boy barely 13 who was not excited to be on a youth trip, and I would sit down next to you and the first words I would ever say were, "are you okay?"

After that, there would be months and months of you just sitting there, listening to me talk...letting me talk away. You didn't like to talk, and I loved to talk to you, so it worked out perfectly.

We have come such a long way, and you have found your way into every little crevice of my heart, even when I didn't want you there, even when I made it really, really hard for you.

Thank you for letting me hold your heart, and only me. Even when I would stretch it out a bit, put it under pressure, or, maybe once or twice, drop it down three or four flights of stairs (I'm sorry about those times), thank you for letting me hold it still. You are the most constant thing I have experienced in this life next to Jesus. There were times that I did awful things. I abandoned you, I broke our promises, I wallowed in self destruction and I gave my heart (stupidly) away to other people, and you never let me experience an ounce of shame. So many times I called you after I found myself in a terrible situation, and together or not, you would drop what you were doing, at 3 in the afternoon or at 2:00 a.m. on a Monday morning, you would rescue me. You would just be there, always. You never made me feel like I was any less worthy, and you were always prepared to try to love me whole. That is Christ's grace shining through you, and that has been the most illuminating thing I've ever known.

Thank you for being my peace, my shelter, and protecting me from as many ugly things as you can. Thank you for teaching me things every day. Thank you for showing me that I can rest assuredly that if nothing else, I am loved by you. I love you so much.

Happy Anniversary (in March),

Casey

Dear Girls (who run the world),

Every T.V. show, every book...virtually every asset of reality constantly crams into us this idea of a wonderful, chaotic love story. We grow up seeing it, we grow up wanting it. We grow desperate to find it.

Here's the catch.

It can only be a love story if they love you.

So often do we give ourselves, our entire being, the most secret, beautiful parts of ourselves as an offering in the name of love, when the situation is loveless. So often do we want love so badly that we don't care who loves us, just as long as they profess to.

It is not worth it.

It is not worth it to invest your soul into empty situations. If you are a flower pot, and you are literally pouring your soul out into places to see the growth and the beauty that love has to offer, if your counterpart doesn't meet you there, and continue to refill you, you are going to give and give and give until you have nothing left to pour, and you are going to feel a deep resounding loss of self.

That is not what we were made for.

We were made to be viewed and touched and held as a temple, as the most beautiful thing that your partner has ever seen, because why else would someone view the missing piece to themselves any differently.

We were made to forgive, grow, and love. And we were made to be shown forgiveness, growth and love. We were made to be able to hear cries, and also cry out and be heard and be held. We were made to keep things safe and to be kept safe.

Why have we been so preoccupied with obtaining a crappy love story that we saw in a fairytale, so much so that we are willing to settle and compromise, when we aren't even getting to partake in all the things that we were made to do, all the things our love was made to do.

We are whole beings. Love is not supposed to make you "un-whole." Love is supposed to crack you open, make you explode everywhere, and force you to grow and fight and learn and strive because all of a sudden there is this human being in front of you and when you look at them all you can think of is that you want them to have the best of everything that you have to give.

And guess what? They think that when they look at you.

And when both partners feel this way, when both partners want their partner to have the absolute best of everything, both individuals will get the truest, most organic "best" that the person has to give.

And there will be a home.

And it will be beautiful and worth it.

And anger will live there, but so will forgiveness.

And hurt may live there, sometimes, too, but so will grace.

Good things will live there. Love will live there.

That is what you are worth. Don't ever sell yourself short. Don't ever surrender a home where love lives.

With SO much love,

Casey