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Dear God, I've Got Some Questions About Why You Did What You Did

Why did you make me the way I am?

Jhinelle Walker

Apr 03, 2018

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

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Unsplash

Dear God,

Why did you make me the way I am? Don’t get me wrong. I love who I am. In fact, I think I'm pretty awesome, but sometimes, being me can be difficult.

Is there a reason for my seemingly unrelated quirks, the sometimes troublesome oddities that make up my personality? I wish I knew what they were for. Did you just put me together like a Mr. Potato Head, sprinkle in some of the special sauce, and send me out into the world to see what would happen with this Frankenstein-like creation of idiosyncrasies? Or do you have a plan for my life that I just can't see yet? Will all these confusing bits of me come together like the jigsaw puzzle I lost the cover picture for to finally let me know why I am who I am?

Why can I speak words better on a page than I can with my mouth? Think of the best words to say but be unable to get them out? Why do I love to be around people but not with them? Why does my body cry when my mind doesn't know what it feels?

Why can I love but don't know what love feels like? Why do I seek out company when I want to be alone? Why can't I hold a grudge even when I am hurt again and again? Why can't I miss those who leave my life?

I am too many contradictions. I get emotional when I can't process emotions. I am too rational, yet I can't make a logical argument when it matters. I try to make friends when I can't form lasting emotional connections (and sometimes, I don't want them even when I do). I want to do everything while wanting to do nothing at all. I want to find love, but I don't even know if I can give it.

What do you have in store for me?

How long do I have to wait? I will trust in you, but I can’t help but question myself.

Sincerely, your (unsure) daughter,

Jhinelle Walker

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Dear God, I've Got Some Questions About Why You Did What You Did

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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