Dear Girl who skipped her first meal,
I know that feeling of victory you are having right now. It will pass. Whatever sense of accomplishment you are feeling right now for figuring out a way to lose weight. It won't work. I mean it will, you will lose weight. But that's not what you really want. I know it's what you think you want. But it isn't. While your stomach begins to crave food, your heart is longing for something else.
Dear Girl who doesn't feel worth it,
You are worth it. But it doesn't matter how many times I tell you that, at the end of the day, you're still not going to believe it. You want a boy to tell you that you are worth it. You want your family to tell you you're worth it. You want your friends to tell you that you're worth it. But, it still won't be enough. Trust me.
Dear Girl who is so lonely it seems like your body is screaming out into a void,
You feel like you don't belong in this body you've grown to hate. You don't recognize you're skin. You want to scream, you want to yell, you want everyone to know your pain, your hurt, your secret. But your body is screaming at you to stop.
Dear Girl who went to the bathroom to throw up again,
It's not worth it. This isn't a one time thing. It's never a one time thing. Take a breath and walk out of that bathroom right now. Walk out and don't look back. It seems like an easy solution. But it's not. Walk. Out.
Dear Girl who feels so far from who she used to be,
You envy your old self. You wish you could still be care free. You wish you still had energy. You also wonder how naive you used to be, to not realize that their was all this pain in the world. When you think of old memories of yourself, it's hard to picture that you ever were that person.
Dear Girl who feels so far from who she wants to be,
I know your worrying. You worry that this may be your life forever. You worry that one day your body will have detrimental consequences for what is happening now. Will someone be able to love all of you one day? Even for who you are right now. You want to be healthy. But how do you even recover at this point?
Dear Girl who doesn't even know why she wakes up every morning,
Because someone will notice when you're not there. You are valued. People want you in their life. You bring something to the table that no one else can. Wake up. Get up. Live the life you were given.
Dear Girl who stands on that scale,
Forget it. It doesn't matter. No matter what that scale tells you, you won't be happy. You never will. That scale is not you. Your weight doesn't represent all your wonderful qualities. Your weight doesn't define who you are and who you will be. It's just a stupid number.
Dear Girl who thinks you'll never recover,
You will. Why? Cause I did. Because so many people are rooting you on. Because living a life of freedom, a life of joy, a life of understanding your worth starts with you. And I believe in you.
Sincerely,
Girl who has been there.