Dear Future,
Everyone tells me to live in the present, but it's hard to not think about you when my head hits the pillow at night.
You reach a certain point in your life when you start asking the hard questions. What do I want to be? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to raise a family? Do I even want a family? For some, they've had it all figured out since they started talking. Others figure it out as the get into college. Some don't even figure it out until they are thirty years old. For an average millennial like me, a year ago I wouldn't have had a clue what I wanted. It didn't seem practical that a (then) 19-20 year old girl should have her whole life figured out. It's crazy that at 18 years old, we are expected to choose the path that we are going to take for the rest of our lives- no pressure, right? Well, through many successes and failures, through heartbreaks and moments of pure bliss, I can confidently say to my future that I have you figured out.
What do I want?
I want to be successful on my own. I don't want to have to rely on anyone, and I will work my ass off to reach every goal that I set for myself. I want to have a career that I can be proud of- one that I can be happy about waking up everyday to go to. I want to never be worried about finances, because I want to look back and realize how smart I was for saving my money now. I will be successful, and I won't settle for anything but the best.
I want love.
Whether that be a husband, or a partner-in-crime- I want mad, passionate love. I constantly see couples who have been together for a long time and you can tell that the spark isn't there anymore. For me, I want the opposite of that. I want a constant spark- a man that no matter what day it is, or how long it's been since I've seen him, I'm excited every time he walks through the door. Intense love, that is what I want.
I want to be a mom. If I could have it in a perfect world I would have 2-3 kids. The boys would be older than the girls, because who else will protect my baby girl when I'm not around? I want to be the mom that is always there. I thank my mom for being my bestfriend, and I want my kids to feel the same way. I want my kids to have the freedom and choices I had- I'll do anything to make sure they have that.
I want to stay in Maine. I've thought about this for a while. I love the city, but when you have a family, you don't get to be selfish anymore. Growing up in Maine has been the best experience. Open woods to roam. Lakes to camp, fish, and boat on. Mountains to climb and deer to hunt. Maine has it all, and it's important to me that my family lives in a friendly and open environment. Maine is my home, and I can't leave it.
And lastly, I want to be happy. I still want to take risks. I want to travel. I want to make mistakes and learn from them. I want to be crazy at times, but always remember who I am. I want to make people laugh, and I want to wake up everyday with a smile on my face proud of who I have become. Proud that whatever path I take, I trust that it's the right one.
Love,
Taylor.
