Dear Future Husband,
The following is a letter your future wife wrote at the naïve age of 18 describing the person she believes she will be in her twenties and also her hopes for the future.
As a twenty something year old, I've probably been hit on by creepy ass guys at the bar, at the gym, at the grocery store, so on and so on. Throughout my singlehood, I have most likely been living in a super chic and modern apartment on the 11'th floor of a building in Seattle. I imagine I've spent my time doing sophisticated things such as reading books and shopping for the latest couture dresses. I also imagine I've spent a fair amount of time doing unladylike things such as dropping F bombs and listening to grunge music. Knowing me, I might even have a tattoo. I like to imagine myself dancing in the rain and laughing hysterically through the window of a shop in Italy. I'll probably be laughing at all those middle aged men who for some reason still think they're da bomb and try to pick up Italian women who are clearly out of their league. I like to think I am the sort of girl who will randomly twirl in circles. The kind of girl who will go to the ballet. I see myself shopping for rustic décor, and don't you worry, you will soon become more than familiar with my Pinterest board, where upon I unleash all of my décor dreams. I see myself square dancing and flirting with cowboys on the weekends. I wouldn't be surprised if mechanical bull riding became my next hobby.
Now that you have an idea of what kind of person I will be before I meet and fall deeply and madly in love with you, (like in a John Green book) I'm going to tell you what I will NOT be doing with my golden years.
First and foremost, I will not spend my time on Tinder, e-Harmony, etc. I will not spend my weekends going to parties and getting so drunk that I throw up (I've seen it happen and it ain't pretty). I will not spend my time dating a jerk who doesn't text me back. I will not use my Jiu-Jitsu skills on guys I don't like unless they actually pose a threat. I will instead opt for throwing a drink in their face. I will not depend on a guy for my happiness or confidence. I will not spend my time hiding in my apartment. Instead, I will roam the world as I see fit. I will also not be ashamed of going to karaoke and singing (even if I do sing like a cow).
Listen, I hope you don't get embarrassed easily because believe me, if you marry me, there will be A LOT of embarrassing moments. I hope you have a good sense of humor because some guys just don't get when I joke and when I'm serious. I hope you are a fan of Frank Sinatra because I tell you, I am in love with dear ole Frank. I also hope you like country music AND rap. Maybe you could even drop a beat. I hope you are down to blast music in the car and sing at the top of your lungs with me, even when there's a red light and the soccer mom next to us does not look pleased. I hope you like children and that you think baby bumps are cute because I think they're cute. I hope that when we do have children, you will be more thank okay with reading them Harry Potter every night. I hope we have a marriage like Carl and Ellie. I hope that every once in a while you give me a smolder like Flynn Rider and that I melt like a fangirl would when meeting Justin Bieber. I hope that when you hear those sappy love songs on the radio, you turn the volume up because it makes you think of me. No matter how cheesy it is. Last but not least and in no particular order, I hope that you love to cook because I can barely heat up a tortilla.
Sincerely,
Your future wife.
