Dear Friend, It's OK To Walk Away | The Odyssey Online
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Relationships

Dear Friend, It's OK To Walk Away

A letter to the friend that I lost to an abusive boyfriend.

30
Dear Friend, It's OK To Walk Away
Doctrines Of Faith

Dear Friend,

It's a shame that it has come down to me writing an article based on your relationship. I know I don't dictate your decisions in life, but I thought you would have learned by now. We became so close so fast and yet, it was that easy to fall apart. I've done my part, but I wish you would have done yours.

I was genuinely happy for you when you found someone that could be your companion. I was mistaken by his fake demeanor that he was a chivalrous guy. Layer by layer, I began to see his true colors. I began to see the way you truly felt by the tears in your eyes. Your concerns and gut feelings were always right, yet you made excuses for them not to be. You compromised our friendship to be with a man who compromised your self-worth. You didn't take into consideration how your actions were affecting those around you. We only wanted what was best for you, and you knew as well, yet you shied away and kept taking the emotional punches. I understand you want to do well for others, but you didn't do well by your friends.

What happened to the girl who was so smart and strong? What happened to the girl that didn't let anyone beat her down? What happened to not settling for less than you deserve? What happened to you being there when I needed you? What happened to your self-worth and independence? Why did you think it was okay to only call when you wanted to complain about something he did? Why did you think it was okay to start ignoring me when you got back together with him? Were you afraid of what I was going to say?

Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy to answer your calls at 2 am, but after the fourth time, I thought you would have been smarter than this. I thought you were done. I thought I had gotten my friend back, but I was wrong. You only called when you needed to cry about something he had done. I'm not sure how you can go from talking everyday to talking only when you need something. I'm not sure how you can sit there and be an emotional punching bag 24/7. I'm not sure how you can be with someone who kicks when you're already down. What is your breaking point? Do you even have one?

As a friend, I stand by my duties and will always be here for you, but you have to start doing your duties and be there for yourself. Since it was your problem, I thought it was mine, but I learned that it's not my battle to fight anymore. It's yours. The decisions you make will only affect yourself now because I'm wiping my hands clean.

Unless the man is wearing a diaper, you can't change him.

Sincerely,

A girl who wants her friend back.

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