Dear friend,
In the words of one of Emily McDowell's bestselling empathy cards, "Please let me be the first person to punch the next person who tells you everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry you're going through this."
I don't think I could ever say it any better myself, but I do want to try. I am so sorry you are going through this, and as your friend, I want nothing more than to take all of this away from you. I have watched you hurt and I have watched you cry, but I've seen you hold it together more times than you've fallen apart. I have seen you struggle, but continue to pick up the pieces, and in the time that we have been friends, I have asked myself many times how it was ever possible that God saw fit for me to be given a friend like you. So, dear friend, today I want you to know that it's okay not to be okay, and I want you to know that you are one of the greatest and most genuine people I have ever known.
Lately, I find myself wondering why we are dealt certain cards. I also find myself wanting to take your cards away from you, but I know that you would never let me. Just like you did not let me sit at home alone the night you showed up at my door with a tub of Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream just because I was sick, and the time you didn't want me to go home upset, so we drove around listening to your German rap music, talking about all of the things in life. You encouraged me the most in those times -- the times when I would have completely understood if you had broken down. Instead, you were the strong one, like you always have been, and today, even if I tried to take your cards from your hands, you would do as you have always done: you would love on me first, and you would not let me take your pain from you. But, please know you don't have to be that friend right now.
You just don't have to. You go through life searching for others to love on, never realizing the impact you have, but listen up, friend: You are remarkable. You always concern yourself with how full my glass is before even checking to see how much water is in your own. You climb mountains and cross through raging rivers, and you never let them slow you. You hold your head up so high, never giving any hint of the weight that sits upon your shoulders, and you walk through this life so beautifully and gracefully, even though you have every reason not to do so. Today, and many days after, you have every reason to kick and scream. You have every reason to never want to be yourself again. But, in the midst of all of the reasons not to find who you were because such a large piece of you is missing, and always will be, I know you will try to find reason to be okay again. But friend, if you don't ever find the strength, I promise to love the heck out of whoever you decide you want to be.
As you walk so gracefully, just know that you don't have to do it alone. I won't tell you that everything happens for a reason and I won't try to patch up the heartache with a plethora of "it's going to get better" phrases, but I will tell you that I am sorry you are having to go through this. I will tell you that it's okay not to be yourself today, and for the many hard days to come. I will also tell you that I admire your strength and perseverance, but I won't stop there. I will make sure you know just how much I love you even through your breakdowns, crying fits, messy-bun and no makeup bad days, and heart-wrenching late nights full of no sleep. I will always answer you, no matter what time you call -- and I hope you call -- because I will be waiting to love on you back, friend, just like you have loved on me.
And friend, if there ever comes a day that you forget how much you are loved, take that thought and throw it far, far away because I will be here. I will stand by your side, pray for better days for you, bring a hot White Chocolate Mocha with no whipped cream and two pumps of vanilla from Starbucks to you, laugh until my belly aches with you, go to Trader Joe's with you, eat whole tubs of Ben and Jerry's ice cream with you, and totally punch whoever tells you everything happens for a reason.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't even have to ask you, like I always do, because I already know that your cup is empty, but I promise to be the friend you have always been to me and to make sure that your cup gets filled again. Dear friend, I am sorry you have to go through this, and I love you so very much.
To my sweet friend Bailey -- you are one beautiful being and I love you so much. To Bo -- the world has been left a better place because of you. May you rest easy. To Bo's family, friends, and loved ones -- my thoughts and prayers are with you.