Dear 15-year-old me,

I know there isn't any possible way that you're ever going to read this--you don't even exist anymore. However, I've been reflecting on my life a lot recently now that I am in my third year of college and I wish I could tell you every amazing thing that has happened to me. I wish I could share with you all of the traveling you have done, all the wonderful people you have met, and hard the stupid major you picked can be--you were right Organic Chemistry was not easy!

But I'm not here to talk about how hard classes are as a Biology Major, or how awful college is because you know what, it isn't. It is so much better than high school and that is one thing I actually wish I could convey to you. At 15 I know the only thing important to you is having a boyfriend and making as many friends as possible. I also know you're completely worried about the playing time you're going to get playing soccer, and how you feel inadequate compared to your friends who are playing. I know that you're worried about getting As in all of your classes, and whether or not your hard work is actually going to pay off--trust me it does so keep it up. I know that you are also a little heartbroken by the older boys you had crushes on because they didn't want to ask you out, and that there are also a few annoying boys blowing up your phone that you don't want anything to do with. I could just laugh seeing your reaction if I was able to tell you that you actually end up falling in love with one of them and being as happy as you can be.

I also know how insecure you are, and how many hours you spend looking at yourself in the mirror. I know you're worried about being beautiful, about your hair being straight enough, about your clothes being cool enough, about being skinny enough, and about being like those girls you see on TV. I wish I could go back in time and tell you that those things aren't what make a person beautiful. That you are beautiful just the way you are and you should enjoy that darn cookie.

I also wish I could tell you that half of the friends that you were so worried about keeping, don't even matter anymore because college will introduce you to the best friends that you have always needed in your life. I also wish I could tell you that worrying about boys is pointless because you will end up heartbroken just like every other 15-year-old girl in the world. But, you're strong enough to get through it and you become such a better person because of it.

I wish I could remind you to have some fun and not constantly worry about getting perfect grades and getting into a good college because you're going to end up there anyway. Trust me, I now worry enough for the both of us about getting good enough grades that you should never worry. I failed a test and lived, so I wish you knew it'd be okay if you fail one too, especially in those five AP classes you decided to take.

But most importantly, I wish I could tell you that your fight is worth it. Every night you cried because it seemed like no one would love you, or because your soccer career wasn't going the way you wanted it too and classes were too hard--none of that matters now. I wish I could wipe those stupid tears from your eyes and tell you that you end up exactly where you need to be--surrounded by amazing people who understand you and love you for exactly who you are. I wish I could tell you that yeah high school is going to suck, but college is going to be amazing. Everyone at the school you decide to go to is a just as big of a dork as you, and you will never feel like you don't belong again.

I wish I could tell you that you're happier than you ever could be, even after life just seems to get harder. I want to tell you that all of your hard work pays off in the end, and not to give up even when it feels like you should. No matter how much your world seems to crash around you in the next few years, I promise it doesn't even matter. None of that matters to me now, but without it I wouldn't be the person I am today. So please cherish every little part of growing up, because turning 20 comes faster than you think. Time flies by and I wish I could tell you to experience it all and engrave it all into your brain forever. Because there is never going to be another soccer senior night, a prom, or a favorite high school class. There is never going to be another time for you to goof around, to go to football games and act silly, or eat whatever the heck you want to.

I wish I could tell you to live in the moment and don't stress about what the future holds. Because 20-year-old me is pretty happy with how you end up. So smile and enjoy being young because when the second you close your eyes you'll be me, getting up early to study and worrying about the MCAT you plan on taking in the spring. So be young and free little me, and enjoy being 15.

Yours Truly,

20-year-old me.