This past week has been really rough. Over the past few days, pretty much everyone in the country who opened Facebook was greeted by videos of young black men being needlessly murdered by corrupt police officers. For you, it was unpleasant and unnerving. However, for black Americans, it was a cold reminder of the fact that we live in a society that dehumanizes and devalues their lives. You may have had a few moments of disgust, but the people around you that look like the men in the videos suffered a renewed fear that they are unsafe in this country because of the bodies they inhabit. It's hard to imagine what that must be like. You've never had to worry about an officer murdering you for something minuscule and getting off with a slap on the wrist. If a police officer pulls you over for a broken taillight, he won't kill you in front of your child, he'll just tell you to get it fixed and send you on your merry way. It's a good thing that you don't need to live in fear of police brutality, it's a good thing that your life is valued, black people just want to have the same safety and security that you have enjoyed your entire life.

After you saw those videos, you saw people posting a lot of #blacklivesmatter statuses. Here is where a lot of you got hung up and felt the need to loudly respond with things like:

"All lives matter!"

"My life is hard too!"

"Look at his rap sheet, he was obviously a criminal!"

"Not all cops!"

"Black people kill each other all the time, that's a bigger problem!"

"I can't be a racist, I have a black friend!"

That's some serious bullshit right there. Why don't we unpack each of those statements.

"All lives matter!"

Well, yes, obviously, but nobody ever said that your life doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is, everyone knows that white lives matter. That's why a white guy who rapes an unconscious woman gets off with the shortest possible sentence for his crime and gets his swim times printed in articles. Actually, nobody's life is valued higher in our society than that of a straight, cis, white male. For reasons mentioned above, white people don't really need to be reminded that their lives matter, it's just kind of a given. I've gotten pulled over before, but the worst thing that ever happened to me was getting a ticket. It kinda sucked, but I never had to fear for my life. I don't need a movement to remind me that my life matters, neither do you! Instead of getting butt-hurt that you're not in the spotlight, just be thankful that you don't need movements or hashtags to assert your right to live peacefully. When you respond to a black lives matter post with "ALL LIVES MATTER!!!" you aren't being an advocate for social justice, you're telling the black people around you that their valid concerns are less important than your ego. That's seriously fucked up. If you really believed that all lives matter, you would be outraged by these atrocites and would be fighting for a better society that actually does value all human lives equally, even the black ones.

"My life is hard too!"

Nobody said that you were incapable of suffering hardships. There are many ways in which a person's life can be difficult. The difference here, though, is that your life isn't harder because of the fact that you are white. You may be in a rough financial situation, or dealing with an illness, or any other number of things, but none of that is due to your skin color. You don't have to worry about someone sworn to serve and protect you killing you for a minor offense. You don't have to worry about slim job prospects because of your name. Your life is not harder because you are white. This is a nonsensical argument to make.

"Look at his rap sheet, he was obviously a criminal! He probably deserved it!"

And this justifies his murder how? That's some seriously fucked up logic! True, Alton Sterling had priors, but none of them warranted immediate execution. He seemed pretty cooperative and forthcoming with the officer, no reason to kill him. Especially because he was completely restrained. He even had permission from the store to sell CDs so he wasn't enough of a problem to even have a weapon drawn on him. As for Philando Castile, he didn't even have a criminal record. The worst thing he did was have a broken taillight. I don't know about you, but I can't imagine any circumstance where a broken taillight is capital offense. Castile literally did everything he was supposed to do in a traffic stop. He declared his legal and licensed firearm, as he was supposed to and then tried to produce his license and registration, as is customary in a routine traffic stop. That should not have cost him his life. Neither of these men deserved what happened to them. I can't think of many crimes that warrant immediate public execution, least of all broken taillights or selling CDs.

"Not all cops!"

No, obviously not all cops murder black citizens, unfortunately, enough do where it's kind of a problem. Getting butt-hurt over it isn't going to help solve the problem or bring attention to the many officers that take their job of serving and protecting seriously. Again, this tells people that their valid concerns are less important than your ego. Again, that's fucked up.

"Black people kill each other all the time, that's a bigger problem!"

Considering the fact that all criminals tend to stick to their their own racial groups, it's not surprising that black criminals tend to go for black victims. However, white criminals also target white people because of this same statistic and nobody seems to be that concerned about it. The big difference here is that when a black person kills another black person, they get sent to prison for the rest of their life. When a police officer kills a black person, he gets a slap on the wrist and paid leave. That's not justice. That's why this is so upsetting. The black people around you not only have to deal with the harsh reality that their lives could be ended over something stupid, but that the person that takes their life likely wouldn't face any consequences. That's too awful to even imagine.

"I can't be a racist, I have a black friend!"

I'm sure your token black friend is really happy to hear that! Seriously, though, your racist comments tell a different story. You probably need to spend more time listening to your friend instead of trying to silence their concerns. If you really cared about your friend, you would want to make sure that they could feel safe in their day to day lives. Your black friends are not there for you to show off how progressive you are by allowing them to sit with you. They don't negate your racism. Take a good hard look in the mirror and think about this.

Seriously, just think before you dismiss the legitimate concerns that the black people around you are having. This isn't about you, your safety is not being threatened right now. Be thankful that your life is valued and that you don't need a hashtag to remind you of that fact. Be there for the people around you that are scared to go outside for fear of violence. We an all do better.