Dear Every Body,

After the uproar of Nicole Arbour’s viral video called “Dear Fat People,” her social media pages shutting down, thousands of response videos, blogs and articles, I decided to get real. I decided to get real about myself, my past and how “fat shaming” has negatively and positively affected me as a person. And what better way to get real than to publish it on a site? My goal is to not only address my past, but to positively respond to Arbour's video as well as anyone who has ever body-shamed in any way.

Here's the truth: Although my pictures don’t show it now, between the ages of seven and 12, I was overweight. Extremely overweight (for your viewing pleasure, here are a few pictures of myself during this phase of my life).

People stared in public, children teased and tormented me, even close relatives made comments. None of that went unnoticed, my friends. Every wide-eyed expression as I walked down the hall, every snide comment as I ran in gym class, every single observation about my weight has been remembered. Those images, those words are things that I have and will take with me for the rest of my entire existence.

I was just a kid. I did not have a grasp on the necessity for a perfect body because I had not yet been polluted with society's expectations of a woman's body. But as I grew older and saw more and more ads of "beautiful women's bodies," the comments started to hit home harder and I began to understand.

I will not rehash the horrible things that were said about me or to my face during this time in my life. I think the hardest part to comprehend especially as a child, was why no one was afraid to make fun of my weight, but very few were willing to get to know me. The "chunky" girl you see in those pictures is amazing. She is strong. She is beautiful. It took me a very long time to realize that. Similarly, it took me a while to understand that most of the people who stated those atrocities and hurt me so deeply don’t even remember doing it, or didn’t know the effect it would have on me. But, coming from someone who was the brunt of so many jokes, I remember. I remember all of it.

My journey with weight continued into the sixth grade when I decided to lose it. I drank more water, watched what I ate and worked out regularly. Years of hard work and resilience paid off, as I am now a fully grown woman with a body most people admire, or at least that’s what I’m told. Because I can tell you one thing: that is not what I believe. I am 19 years old and most of my life has been spent worrying about whether or not I look fat in this outfit or that picture, if the people laughing as I walk down the hallways are laughing at me, or if I will ever be as skinny and beautiful as those Victoria Secret models.

I want to let you reading this article and everyone in the world who has ever “fat-shamed” or "body-shamed" in any way know: although you probably don’t remember snickering or commenting on someone’s appearance, that someone does.

Every prom dress I tried on, every pair of jeans I pulled over my hips, every workout routine I attempted, every cookie I ate, every pair of spandex I wore for my years of volleyball, and so much more, I was reminded of the moments of my past. The moments of hurt and crying and hating myself. And I can promise you I am not the only one who feels this way.

I have had an ongoing love/hate relationship with myself for my entire life. For most of my life, I am ashamed to admit, I felt hatred. I was disgusted by myself. I felt so negatively because of how I was made to feel by other people when I was younger, which has emotionally and mentally scarred me throughout my years of development. This, I know, has made me a stronger person. It has been a difficult journey, but I know I am learning to love myself now -- both for who I am and how I look.

I would never want another person to be affected by any sort of shaming in the way I had been; I would never want any child to hate the reflection in the mirror or wish they were someone else. But, after watching Nicole Arbour’s video, I was jolted to the realization that the reality I faced at a young age, the reality that morphed my perception of myself and affected me for the rest of my life, is something that millions of people are continuing to face every single day by people who feel they are prettier, skinnier and better than them.

Let me ask you a question: have you ever felt bad about yourself? Your body? Have you ever been unhappy with your hair, your arms, your thighs, etc.? Statistically speaking, you probably answered yes. If, per chance, you answered no to this question, I am so happy that you have grown to love yourself for who you are and how you appear- I hope one day everyone can find that type of self-love. But I ask you to take a look at the following statistics and then take a look at the people in your life; chances are, you are in some way connected to the plague of self-hate.

In 2007, a study conducted resulted that 77% of teenagers between the age of 10-14 believed they were ugly. In another study, 91% of girls who were surveyed on college campuses had partaken in diets to control their weight. Additionally, 95 percent of the girls who were diagnosed with eating disorders ranged from 12 to 25 years of age. These are children, these are young people who have the rest of their life to look forward to! And they’re trapped in the mentality that they are not pretty or skinny enough.

One of the problems with society is that we are so obsessed with each other and everyone else’s business. Nicole Arbour, who are you to judge someone that has nothing to do with you? Has anyone ever tried to get you “fat,” talked to you about their weight issues, or ever even asked for your opinion? The answer, I can guarantee is no. No one forced you to upload that video; you made that choice. You put a viral video out that hurt millions of people, that probably caused thousands of people to cry themselves to sleep that night, and hate themselves a little bit more.

I believe in freedom of speech and freedom of the press; but why would you use your fame for harm rather than to uplift the people who look up to you? Most people would argue they have no sympathy for people like Nicole. But I do. I know that, realistically speaking, a person is not as comfortable with themselves as they appear to be or try to seem if they have to tear another person down for amusement or to make themselves feel better.

I am not attacking Nicole Arbour. I’m sure she is a great person. I am attacking the idea society has placed in our minds that we must be a certain size or weight or look a certain way in order to be valued. It’s completely ridiculous. The size of a person does not determine their worth. The way their eyebrows are waxed or eyes are shaped or hair is cut does not prove the value of their existence.

I am so tired of the obsession for “the perfect body.” I have curves in all the right places. I eat for a healthy body. I exercise for the benefits. Because I want to. I don’t have a thigh gap, though society tells me I should. I don’t have a completely flat stomach though almost every ad I see tells me I should take extreme measures to get one. And I know that some girls do have these things because I knoweach body is unique. So why are we condemning one body and uplifting the other? I'm tired of the stereotypes that portray a skinny girl "anorexic," a fit girl "masculine" or a curvy girl "chubby."

If each body is unique, shouldn’t we as a society be celebrating that? Shouldn't we be celebrating the beautiful and wonderful differences humanity has? I’m tired of wishing to be something I am not and living in a world where most of the population hates how they were made and refers to harmful measures to change themselves. Because for the love of lemons, if I want a bikini body, I’ll put a bikini on my body.

Stop hating on each other, and start loving yourself. Each person on this earth is a treasure, each body is a work of art. You are the artist of your own body. You yourself choose how to decorate and take care of your body. Do not listen to the art critics, because I guarantee you they do not understand the artist’s intention.

To the people who love themselves, I commend and admire you. You are beautiful. I’m glad you realize that.

To the people that find themselves hating more than loving themselves: I was there too. I know how difficult it is to look in the mirror and find a part of yourself to love. But I promise you that you are worth more than gold; you have so many amazing qualities and everyday people admire you for who you are. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself.

To the people that feel a need to tear another person down based on their interests, looks or qualities: I feel bad for you and my thoughts are with you. I hope one day you can find inner peace that no longer requires you to rip apart another person to feel better about yourself, or to find amusement in your day.

As for me, I am somewhere in between. I am in the limbo of self-love; past the point of self-hate but not completely embracing the self-acceptance. I know that it is a journey that I will embark on for the rest of my life. I don’t want to forget my past or where I came from because so many of those moments created the person I am today. But I do want to embrace my future and all the goodness it has to offer. And I hope each of you reading this can do so as well.

I love you. So many love you. So, please, start to love yourself.

Forever yours,

An Ex "Fat" Kid