Dear Diary,

This week's blog is going to be a little different. A little bit shorter too, which I know no one will have a problem with. I'm going to write as though I was writing in my own little secret journal. Oooo I know, taking it back to like third grade. Yes, yes I am. I truly believe you aren't fully living if you don’t allow yourself to be a kid sometimes. So if I wanna write a dear diary, I'm gonna write a dear diary. If I wanna use my finger to eat the rest of the cheese dip out of this glass container, I'm gonna use my finger to finish every bit. If I wanna facebook stalk my high school crush, I will facebook stalk my high school crush carefully making sure I don’t like anything from 3 months ago- I know, I know, things just got real.

Oh please, don't act like you haven't done it. It's not like I actually think he and I will ever get together. You know how it is. I think the only time I ever talked to him in full sentences was on the football field when I was taking pictures. And no, I was smart enough not to include mystery man in my old high school football photo I used for my article cover, nice try.

So anyways, this one time he had just finished a perfect play and ran back over to the sidelines all majestic and for some reason, don't ask me why, I opened my mouth and spoke. Have you ever said something so ridiculous that as you're in the middle of saying it you're wishing the Lord would knock you out? Like I'm surprised I didn't stop half sentence and run away. Now before I tell you what I said I want you to realize how much pressure I was under. I had an entire class where I sat next to him and could never mutter a word that didn’t sound like a baby trying to speak for the first time. I had stood behind him in the lunch line once or twice and couldn't even get up the nerve to tell him the line was moving when he was distracted by the average googly eyed girl turned around telling him about her plans for the Luke Bryan concert. By the way, I promise you she probably ended up wearing jean shorts with some boots and she probably took a photo with two other friends and she probably uploaded it to Instagram with the caption "No, you shake it for me Luke". But that's none of my business.

Moving on, what I'm trying to say is I don’t know why I picked the most serious part of this guy's day to choose to speak to him, especially considering what I said. Let me set the scene a little better. It's a tie game, (he who shall not be named) was working his tail off and in my opinion was currently carrying the team and had been substituted so he could rest a bit before dominating again, and I (yes, my camera and I) was standing on the sidelines being squished by about 70 other smelly players. Here he comes, running back to the sidelines and coincidentally ends up standing right next to me. I watched him take his helmet off, out of breath and saw his eyes focus back on the field. Like hardcore focused, man. That’s when I said it. I didn’t say anything half decent like "This is a close one tonight." Or "You're pretty much carrying the team right now, I'm impressed." Nope. That's not what I said at all. I turned my head and let out the words, "You're sweaty". He looked at me for a second and laughed and then said "Yeah, I've been playing football." Then he turned around ran towards the water girls.

At that moment, I wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it and sing songs to myself for the rest of my life. The sad part is, he didn’t even reply in a rude way. Even the way he responded to my weird declaration was sweet and funny and only made me like him more. How can you know words when you're looking at a slice of human heaven? Anywho, whatever. Life goes on. I continued taking pictures for years to come and I watched him live his glory days and one time I slipped into his DMs but that's just how it has to go. Also, I gave him my number once... for a group project... Haha. Listen, everyone has to have a high school crush who they will never have a chance with. Who else would we stand in the mirror and have imaginary conversations with in high school? Moral of the story is, It's normal. I'm not. But that is. High school crushes are normal.