Dear Cyclist,

Notice the name given to you, the category you fall under. Take note of what sits beneath you. Two thin wheels, held together by painted metal that you definitely purchased for a much higher price than necessary. You bought this awesome bike because you want to start living a healthier life. Good for you, man. You bought the spandex to go along with it, because you know, that's just how it goes.

You're becoming one of the most annoying people on the planet. Why, you ask? Because, to all the cyclists out there, you take your healthy self to busy main roads. Roads that are meant for motorists, you know, those unhealthy people who rely on their vehicle for transportation? Otherwise known as the person you were 30 seconds ago before purchasing your bike.

I understand if there is a sidewalk, or a bike lane, go for it. But really? A road with not even a shoulder on either side for the CARS to pull over? You're openly asking to get run over. You're going to be the cause of another accident. We as drivers, now have to swerve spontaneously into the other lane, crossing the double yellow lines, just to barely prevent you from getting hit. The opposite, when I am driving at the speed equivalent of a snail, directly behind you. Do you hear the car behind you? It's not silent, that's for sure.

I might have an idea of what must be going on in your mind.

You now that there is a car there and just don't give a flying f---flat tire. Maybe, just maybe, you're completely oblivious to the monster tank driving 4 feet behind you. You are not hugging the shoulder of the road (which would be one of the better options), but instead, you are in the center of the lane! Why are you inviting danger?

Here are a few tips for the road:

1. Get your receipt, gather your spandex and return the bike all together

2. Dont want to return the spandex or the bike? OK, then find a bicycle route

3. If you hear a car coming your way, please don't move into the middle of the road, steer clear. (hug the shoulder, it's your best friend)

I completely blame you for the cause of my recent diagnosis, severe road rage. I was a calm vessel before I started this road warfare. To all the inconsiderate cyclists, thank you for ignoring the rules of the road. I wish you the best of luck, incase one day us drivers revolt and all hell breaks loose.


Sincerely,

One of Many Angry Drivers