I got to help choose my baby brothers name before he was born. Mom bought a book of baby names and got a different colored pencil for each of us. We each took a turn going through the book and circling names we would like for the baby. We ended up with a list of the names that all three of us had chosen. It was not as long as I thought it would be. There had been over 1,000 names, but we only had 10 on our list. Conner was at the very end.

You are nine years old now, the same age I was when you came into my life. I was a bratty spoiled child, much like you are, but then mom brought you home and my life was forever changed. I never knew I wanted a brother until you showed up and taught me what it's like to be an older sibling and now I wonder how I lived so long without you. You are the best thing in my life. You may be older now but you will always be my baby brother. I miss you and the days spent playing video games in our pajamas, the crazy stories I never get sick of hearing, the real talks I never thought I could have with a nine year old, the Saturdays we spent having adventures and the Saturdays where we did nothing at all. I miss it all and wish I weren't so far away. I wish you'd stop growing up without me. So here's a look back to the times you might not remember and that I never stop thinking about.

I know there were poop-filled diapers, crying, and sleepless nights but that’s not what I remember. I don't remember the times before you when I was a spoiled only child and I don't remember the stolen toys, or drool covered dolls. What I remember is the squirmy little baby being put in my lap for the first time. I remember the Halloween when you were dressed as the cutest penguin I have ever and will ever see. I remember sitting on the floor playing with cars for hours. I remember watching the same movie over and over again for days, weeks, months because it was your favorite movie and you just wanted to watch it one more time. I remember sitting in the living room as you learned to walk, everyone cheering when you finally made it from one person to another, how I leaned closer to you just so I could try to save that image forever in my mind. I remember all the first times, all the baby games, the play toys, the silly faces, and the most amazing laugh that made me want to hear it more.

As you got older the games changed, but I was always right beside you playing along. The rattles turned into cars and the cars have turned into make believe then video games. We’d run in the backyard making up stories of dragons and castles, I’d be the princess and you’d come save me or we’d fight together to save the kingdom. Even to this day I can walk in the backyard and see where our castle stands and remember all the time we spent out there. I still have the pictures you made me and the board games we designed. Your mat for cars still sits on your floor waiting for another game and if you asked me to I'd get out the cars and play for hours. Your crazy stories will never bore me, although they may not always make sense I will always listen. And I will always laugh at your jokes because they are always funny.

You may be growing up but you will never outgrow me and I will never outgrow you. You are my best friend and I will always be there for you. We’ve had our fights and we’ll have more but at the end of the day we are siblings and there is nothing you can do about it.