When it comes to mental health, this is a sensitive topic. Especially in the society we live in where mental health is often pushed aside & hidden away.

As an incoming college senior, I have had many nights of wanting to rip my hair out over school. If you tell adults or professors this, they do not feel any sort of sympathy for you.

They’ll say nothing in life comes easy. School is hard and frustration is expected, but what I’ve seen college do to the people around me is way more than just a little school stress.

You see, I understand college is a challenge and I understand stress is expected; but I’ve also come to understand that there is a big difference between a little school stress and having so much pressure put on you that you want to die.

Now that sounds dramatic doesn’t it? But ask any college student if they’ve ever been so stressed over a test or a class grade that they went to bed and wished they wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

I bet more than half would say yes. I bet many can attest to losing an unhealthy amount of sleep during a school semester. Even more will say that there have been plenty of times where school has made them physically sick.

Many have prayed for disasters or tragedies to happen just so they wouldn’t have to take that test or write that 17 page paper. Panic attacks, anxiety disorders, ADHD medication just to stay up later, study harder, concentrate longer- our education system has turned us into a generation that prides ourselves on sleep deprivation and self destruction. It has turned us into nothing more than a number on a piece of paper and a letter grade, but has forgotten that we are human beings.

And the saddest part is that so many of us love to learn, but it’s not about learning anymore. It’s all about numbers and letters. We choose the class taught by the easier professor instead of the one that challenges our thinking because at the end of the day no one cares if you learned anything as long as you got an “A”. And you can’t take that class on that subject that you actually enjoy, because that class won’t boost your GPA or get you into med school. And you can’t write your paper on how you actually feel about a topic, because your professor won’t agree and freedom of speech doesn’t apply to APA format.

College was supposed to be about testing our logic and opening our minds, but that has been clouded by memorizing 200 pages on a topic that we will forget all about as soon as we hand in our test. Students would rather cheat on an exam or memorize the material word for word than risk trying to comprehend & retain the information in fear of getting a bad grade. And the one time you tried to understand the topic at hand, you failed the test while the person cheating next to you got a 100, so what’s the point? At the end of the day all that matters is that grade that's gonna get you that piece of paper at graduation.

And yet no one has ever stopped and thought that maybe our education system is flawed, instead we are seen as ‘lazy’ and ‘inattentive’. When starting another semester of college makes you want to kill yourself, that’s not just another student being ‘distracted’.

I had a love for learning and school has ruined that for me, for all of us.