Dear Cold/Flu Season,

Go away. No one wants you here. In the words of Gretchen Wieners, “You can’t sit with us.”

Why do you have to make us sick? No one wants to have a runny nose, sore throat, cough, fever, or barely be able to speak. Do you know how many trees I’m killing with how many Kleenexes I’ve gone through? How much money I’ve spent on medicine hoping for a “cure”? I had to do this because of you. I have lost sleep because of you. My concentration is at an all-time low because you gave me a cold. Yes, I am holding you responsible. I was taking care of myself, I was healthy. Until one morning when I woke up with a sore throat and it has only escalated from there.

I, personally, am not a fan of yours. If someone is, they might be a little bit crazy. Let’s be honest, who in their right mind wants to be sick for days, feeling like death? The answer is no one. All I’m asking is that this comes to an end. That my immune system has had enough of this. It’s tired of fighting. It has learned its lesson.

We’re at the point in winter where everyone is over the cold and ready to move onto spring. Onto warmer and sunnier days. Days when the flowers are in full bloom and hardly anyone is sick.

I guess all I have left to say to you is: Farewell until next year.