Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Relationships

Dear Boy I Wanted To Fix

Every girls felt it; it was just my turn.

Brianta M Diming

Aug 16, 2016

Indiana University Northwest

Brianta M Diming

Dear boy that I tried to fix,

"Guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up.” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

As I go on and write this, I want you to know that I forgive you and I have moved past that bad place in my life. I’ll never know why I wasn’t good enough I mean I gave you everything and you never seemed to notice. When you called I came, when you would text me I would respond within seconds but when it was vice versa you would text me back days later making me feel bad and unwanted. I can't count all the times I’ve cried because I felt I wasn’t good enough, and I've tried to hate you with everything in my being, but of course, I could not. You had something different about you from the first time we met and it was dark... it was pain and depression. I could see the pain you suffered and I could tell you needed someone. I tried to be that someone, but I just was not who you wanted. I could tell you wished I was her even when you said you were completely over her. You never really got over that pain, did you? You just wanted me to suppress it, didn’t you?

As I look back almost a year later, I can say I don’t and will never regret doing what I did. I was selfless for the first time in my life and even when nobody could understand, and not even I could understand, what I was doing for that matter and why I would put myself on the line for someone who showed plenty of times they didn’t care. I now know why I did I wanted to fix you. I wanted to mend that brokenness that I felt when I would look into your eyes. I wanted to see you smile again. I wanted you to stop using the drugs to take away that pain you felt so deep in your soul. I wanted you to be that perfect guy that you have always been to be on the inside as well, but that didn’t happen that way after almost 11 months (yes, I counted). It was fling that just faded away as they usually do in these cases. Girl falls for the potential guy just in it for the fun of it. The anger I felt was impeccable and indescribable but I know that I did these things for the right reason.

So guy that I wanted to fix so badly, how does it feel to knowing how I felt all those months? Does it make you feel bad? Do you think I’m full of it and I’m out of line? Or do you not care enough to even read past the first paragraph or sentence? To be completely honest, I don’t care how it makes you feel because now it’s time to fix all the things you unknowing broke about me, and I would like to thank you because I can fully appreciate the man I have today. He is the complete opposite of you!

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Health and Wellness

5 Ways To Bring Positivity Into Your Life When All You Want To Do Is Drown In Self-Pity

It seems like life has been serving up more bad than good and in all honesty, the only thing you want to do is crawl under your covers and hide from the rest of the world.

Grand Canyon University

285

5 Ways To Bring Positivity Into Your Life When All You Want To Do Is Drown In Self-Pity

Photo by Kinga Howard on Unsplash

The first two weeks of classes have come to an end and they have been anything BUT easy. It seems like life has been serving up more bad than good and in all honesty, the only thing you want to do is crawl under your covers and hide from the rest of the world.

Although this seems like the best solution, it is also the easy way out. Take it from the girl who took basically a whole week off from her life because she just could not handle everything that was being thrown at her. This caused her to feel extremely lonely and even more stressed out for being behind in classes that JUST began.

Keep Reading...Show less

self-pity

Entertainment

11 Things We Learned From Brooke Davis

"What's more important? What we become or how we become it?"

St. Thomas Aquinas College

157

"She was fiercely independent, Brooke Davis. Brilliant, and beautiful, and brave. In two years she had grown more than anyone I had ever known. Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday, and I'm not sure she even knows it." - Lucas Scott, An Unkindness of Ravens

Brooke Davis of the hit show One Tree Hill was the it girl - she had it all, or so we thought. She started out as a stuck-up, shallow, spoiled, head cheerleader who didn't have her life together. She slept around a lot and loved to party - sounds like your typical high school teenager right? Wrong. B. Davis had so much more to offer. Caring, loyal, and outspoken, she has taught us some valuable lessons throughout the 9 seasons that OTH was on the air:

Keep Reading...Show less

brooke davis

Relationships

11 Signs You Have An Honorary Roommate

Make yourself at home, why don't you?

Appalachian State University

2000

Rachel Zadeits

For some of us, coming to college was the first time we ever had to share a room. It was a big change, but a fun one. As you meet more and more people over the course of your college career, it seems to be a pattern that you will at some point have that one friend that doesn't live with you, but acts like they do. We call those people, "Honorary Roommates" and here are 11 signs you have one in your life.