Dear Body Lovers,
Over the years, many people have told me to love myself more. I should love the body I grew into and continue to grow into because loving one’s self is a big step in being happy. I truly agree with these comments but it’s easier said than done. I know a lot of people can back me up with that. It’s definitely not a mindset that can be developed over night.
I am told to love myself but when I look in the mirror I just see all my flaws, all my insecurities, and I hear that little tiny voice called Doubt in the back of my mind. Doubt reminds me of the skin I don’t like, the heavy bags under my eyes, my big feet, my stubby hands, and the numbers that add up to my weight. Doubt is always sitting in a comfortable chair waiting to make his move. He expels happiness off of my self-loathing and negativities, but how do I overcome Doubt?
It is true that there are days when I don’t hear Doubt and put on that pretty forest green dress but then when I step in front of a mirror or look down at my thighs, I hear him. He tells be that I’m not pretty enough or that I am not skinny enough. He reminds me that a girl of my size should stick to clothes with more fabric to hide the skin “we” don’t like. So, I take that pretty forest green dress off and resort to Adidas pants or leggings.
Even if I wear Adidas pants or leggings Doubt likes to intervene here and there. Doubt tells me that my thighs are too thick to be parading around in tight leggings because nobody wants to see that. He tells me that Adidas pants are for skinner athletes but I should remember that shorts would look worse on my thick thighs and muscular calves.
Most of the time, I hide my natural face under a layer of makeup because Doubt tells me that I am ugly without it but as the day goes on, I am still ugly with it. My cheeks are too rosy and my eyebrows are not curved right. My eyelashes don’t seem to exist and I have squinty eyes. Doubt also tells me that my hair is always a mess because of its natural qualities to curl and frizz. I try to straighten or curl the mess but he still never approves.
The fact of it all is Doubt is always there if I am going out into the public. Doubt makes me feel uncomfortable, anxious, and jealous at times. I try my best to fix these things that Doubt loathes but he always has a problem. He continues to remind me that my shoulders are too masculine, my calves are too muscular, my thighs are too thick, etc. and I feel like I can’t escape his rejection. So, I ask again, how do I overcome Doubt and love myself?
Sincerely,
A girl with body insecurities
