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Dear Anxiety, I Hate You

And I always will.

Kat Barrett

Feb 07, 2017

University of Saint Thomas Minnesota

151

Correy Nicole

Dear Anxiety,

I hate you. I wake up to you looming over my limp, tired body, reminding me of every other thing that I do and don’t have to do today. You seem to come and go as you please, moving into my brain like an uninvited guest, making yourself at home throughout my entire body. When you finally move out, I am left with uncertainty rather than relief. You make my life miserable at the most inconvenient times and you don’t seem to care.

When I finally find the strength to get up and start my day, I move cautiously, for I am unsure when you plan to make your return. I forget about you for a short time and live my life like nothing is wrong. I go along with my day, smiling, laughing, enjoying myself because I know that this feeling won’t last forever. Even on my best days, you always make a point of showing up, making it go from great to good, from good to bad, from bad to awful.

Even the meaningless moments where I’m sitting listening to music, or watching a movie, or eating dinner mean something to you. For they are not mere moments but rather opportunities for you to run in and wreak havok. You creep into my mind and tear it apart, littering it with unwanted thoughts and unneeded pain. You move from my mind to my heart, tugging at its strings, making me overly sensitive and worrisome. From there you travel into my stomach, punching and kicking, leaving me feeling worn out and defeated. After that you travel all over me, wherever you please, leaving little traces so that I will never fully be rid of you.

Why do you continuously make me think that I am worthless or a failure? Why is it that you make me question every interaction that I have with people, wondering if they really care or if their words are just lies? Why must you cause me to feel fifty emotions at once, not knowing which one is the right one? Why do you cause me to care so much about everything to the point where I can’t let anything go?

When it is finally time to go to bed at night, I am left lying awake for ages as you attack me from inside my own brain. I will never understand why it is that you do this to me. I will never know why I was blessed with the gruesome task of providing housing for you. But there is one thing that I am certain of: I hate you and I always will.

Sincerely,

An exhausted victim

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Dear Anxiety, I Hate You

And I always will.

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The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

Life is full of twists and turns, but you have to keep going.

1. Wallow.

2. Cry.

3. Get Angry.

4. Tell Someone You Love Them.

5. Forgive.

6. Let go of the negative people in your life.

7. Be yourself.

8. Swallow Your Pride.

9. Stop Freaking Out Over Your Body.

10. Say No.

11. Accept Love.

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