Before I met you…

I was a boy who was in it for himself. I thought about myself above anything, and I didn’t even know that I was being that way. Being fit and looking good was everything that I focused on, school was the other major place that I devoted most of my time. My day started every day at 4:50 am waking up getting ready for the gym getting to the gym saying hello to all of the older people at the 5 am cycling class then running 2 miles on the treadmill. After that I focused on lifting weight and practicing powerlifts for CrossFit.

I would leave at 6:30 and go home to get ready for school. Once I was ready I would get in my car and head to school usually right on time running into the class as the bell rang. School would go on and I would check my hair about 50 times throughout the day and make sure my outfit still looked good because I was aiming for “Best dressed” at school. I had my main group of friends that I loved and they knew about everything that there was to know about me. Kayleigh, Jessica, and Carlie everyone loved us because we were nice and popular but we didn’t really involve anyone else in our circle. (Maybe they didn’t even like us at all, oh well).

School would be over and I would love to walk outside because it was chilly but my red BMW (My Love) soaked up all of the sun. David C. Saavedra, Class president, popular, captain of the tennis team, and one of the only “out” gay boys at Grants High School -- I took so much pride in who I was and everyone loved that about me. I would get in my car, go home and change, then head off to cross country practice, run until I died but felt great when it was over. I would leave practice and head straight to the gym for CrossFit. I was doing great learning new lifts fast gaining muscle and promoting Fire and Ice CrossFit at competitions and other boxes around New Mexico.

Once I left the gym, I would be so tired that going home sounded so good. Once I was home my mom made sure I ate and talked to me about school and how my scholarships were coming along, so I would show her my resume and my essays for certain applications. My dad always supported me and made me feel good about myself and I would joke with my brother and he would try to get me to play video games but I never knew what exactly was going on.

I was dating someone else at the time, we had been together over a year at this point and I missed him because he moved away for work but we tried our hardest to make things last. I have to admit he really tried his hardest when it came to our relationship but he didn’t understand that living in two different states was hard. He never complained or told me no when it came to things that I wanted to do even though he wasn’t here and I respected that a lot. I would talk to him before I fell asleep then I was out before 10 pm and it was repetitious every day, I had my whole life figured out other than the occasional questions about class events and class meetings but I would in turn figure those out too.

I THOUGHT I had my life figured out I should say because little did I know that everything would soon change. About a month later Cross Country ended and so did my year and six-month relationship with Chris. Winter came but in this time I decided that I wouldn’t be broken so I brought my friends closer and I started focusing on my physicality even more. I started talking to other people but nothing felt right.

When I met you…

My life was kind of crazy I was stressed about school, I was solely devoted to my CrossFit, and worried about college. I had a trip to Gustavus Adolphus College a private school in St. Peter Minnesota that I had an almost full ride scholarship to coming up in a couple days but we talked a little bit about nonsense really. That day you got mad at me because I posted a Snapchat when I landed in Minnesota before I texted you.

The next couple of days were hard because I was in a completely different place, but I made time to call you, we talked until 1 am which was only 12 here in New Mexico. We talked about AHS and that is the first thing that we knew that we had in common other than that we thought that one another were attractive. I remember how you told me that you wanted to be an actor and how you didn’t think that we were a good match for each other but I got you to agree to meet me in person anyway.

We were supposed to meet that evening but my plane got delayed and I didn’t end up getting back into Albuquerque until like 1 the next morning…we were both upset about it. I ended up getting lucky enough for you to say that we would meet the following weekend and I was ecstatic. I drove to Albuquerque so nervous that I thought I was going to die. I ended up getting to your neighborhood 20 minutes early so I parked at the park and tried to compose myself.

I drove past your house to make sure that I knew exactly which one it was I should actually say that I sped by because I was nervous that it would be my luck that you were looking outside. I came back around the block and parked in front of your neighbors house and with my heart beating in my big toe I walked to your door and pressed the doorbell. The most attractive composition of cells opened the door and smiled we both said “Hi” and gave each other the most awkward hug in the world I wanted to laugh but I also wanted to cry… Your brother looked at me and said "hey" then he wandered off and we sat on the couch looked at each other smiled so shy that we hardly talked.

You went upstairs to grab something and tripped at the top of the stairs and I pretended that I didn’t see, but it was so funny. I had to meet your parents but they were getting new furniture and they came in while I was looking at myself in the restroom mirror. I met them and everything went good because they let you leave with me. We had pizza and macaroni and cheese, then we went Ice skating and got gelato. I met your brother's friends and stayed playing board games even though I suck because I didn’t want to leave you. After that, I was hooked. I started coming and visiting more and more and we started dating. After that it was all about you all the stuff that made me happy before didn’t amount to half as amazing as I felt when I was with you.

Now…

We have had some great times like going on vacation together and staying with the most amazing tour guides of San Diego, both of our proms, starting college together, and having this class together. All relationships have their downs and we have experienced those as well, you put me through hell sometimes, make me want to pull my hair out, and cry but I know I’ve done the same to you.

At this point, I know how we work together and that’s better than you expected because you didn’t think we were going to last a couple dates… THANKS! It’s also better than I ever thought, you’ve been my hardest relationship but my best and most real relationship at the same time. I know that we're going to be at the Grammys together waiting for them to call your name for the best male actor award then you’re going to come and ask me how you looked, how you sounded, if you walked funny, if you talked too fast, or more importantly if your hair looked okay.

And when you have to bring me lunch to my office because I don’t have time to leave because I scheduled too many nose jobs and breast augmentations for the day. You have taught me so much and helped me grow as a person. I don’t only think of myself anymore, now I have you to think of secondly… haha just kidding. I don’t obsess over myself anymore because I obsess over you. I also know that we need to do the things that make us happy.

It’s not just about me anymore, and I can’t just worry about you all the time, we need to balance things out and that has been the hardest thing for me to learn but meeting you got me through all the challenges of what this past year had to offer. I am only sane right now because not only school and stress drove me crazy, but my boyfriend did too… I love you, Aaron, thank you for teaching me all of these things, you’re kind of really amazing (yeah I rolled my eyes).