Dear 14-year-old me,

There will be days when you feel on top of the world. You will feel accomplished and assured with where you are going. Everything will feel as if things are falling into place, but not every day will feel like this. Actually, most days will not feel like this. Most days will be hard. You’ll be stressed, or heartbroken. More importantly, there will be days where you will want to lay in bed and cry until you can’t feel your face anymore, and that is OK. Your mental health is just as important as your school work, or seeing your friends. Stop prioritizing your health as last. You do not have to be perfect. You just have to be you.

You do not need to stress everything you do, especially with school. Despite what I say, you will over-stress, and stay up for nights studying until you can barely keep your eyes open. Your grades will count, trust me, but some of them are not worth the mental stress you’ll put yourself under. Do not beat yourself down because you received a C on that math test. One bad grade will not kill you. As long as you try your hardest, that is what counts. Don’t procrastinate—it’s an ugly habit that will stay with you forever. Waiting until the very last second does not mean that you completed the project, it means you put as little effort as you could into something that could have been so wonderful.

That is the same with relationships. Keep your friends close. Make sure to spend time with them. If you are not feeling mentally well, let them know and I’m sure they’ll understand. Open up to them. If they are your real friends they will only try and help you. If they are true, they will stand by your side no matter the circumstance. Also, get your heart broken as many times as possible. It will make you stronger. There is such a thing as learning from your mistakes. You are still so young, and the odds will be against your relationships. Every boy you like will not be the one. The hopes of finding someone at such a young age will diminish as you grow, but keep trying. Do not let a boy control your emotions though. Honestly, at that age boys are not worth the stress, and tears. Heartbreaks will hurt, but you should pick yourself up and learn to love yourself first. No relationship will work unless you do. Relying on somebody else for happiness will only make you feel worse. The feeling of self-assurance is indescribable. Some friendships and relationships will fail, but it is not the end of the world.

In fact, you will fail. You will fail many, many times. Each time you fail, it starts a new beginning. Failing sounds bad, and yes sometimes it is, but things always have a funny way of working out in a way you did not expect. Not succeeding at everything you do does not mean you should give up hope though. Keep your hopes high, and when they come crashing down, know that everything will be okay.

I know that you want to make everyone proud. You think they cannot see you cry, and they cannot see you breakdown. You do not want them to see you in that way because you want to be perfect. In reality, it does not matter what other people will think. You need to focus on you, and only you. Spend time bettering yourself. Read as many books as possible, spend time with your family while you still can, and do not let your childhood slip away so fast. You will want to have it back when you are my age.

Sincerely,

Your 20-year-old self.