Tragedy could come knocking at any time. During the holiday season, dealing with an accident in the family or a sudden death can make dealing with a loss a lot harder. My family and I dealt with a sudden death and every holiday season we spend as much time as we can together and give thanks for the family that we do have with us. It has taken us years to be able to deal with it the best way we can, but I think having faith and always making time to be with each other has helped.
When I lost my grandma to cancer, it was not a long battle. She was gone before the end of the month after her diagnosis, and we were all caught off guard. We also live in a different country now, so we couldn't all go down and be with her, just my father. This weighed on us heavily as a family. We also dealt with the death of two cousins who were killed in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. I think the hardest part was that they were brothers who were only 16 and 17-years-old.
This has also affected the family as a whole. Every holiday, we remember who is missing but at the same time, we've been able to see the silver lining of these traumatic events by communicating and making sure we come together as a family and lean on each other for support. Out of our hardships, these are the four ways we have been able to deal with loss.
1. Make time for family once a week.Â
Family dinner
PexelsEvery week, we try to come together as a family—that includes my parents, siblings, cousins, whoever can make it. We try to have at least one meal together every week. Regardless of what you've got going on, making time to be together is crucial. This is important for traditions and something you can pass to the next generations.
In my life, Sundays are for family and that has kept our bond strong for years. We try to make every dinner, every birthday party, every baby shower, and if we can't make it, we give each other a call. During times of hardship, getting together is important because it helps you lean on each other and making sure everyone is doing ok.
2. ​Check in on each other.Â
Calling
https://pixabay.com/en/girl-talking-calling-cell-phone-926225/This might seem obvious but if you have family who is far away, or even if you don't, call each other. Send each other interesting articles you might have read. You don't need to have a conversation for hours, it's a simple "how are you" and "what are you up to?"
When that family member is not feeling well or is losing faith at a time of need, and you happen to call, that might make their day and turn the sadness around. Talking to your loved ones is crucial, here are some tips on dealing with depression as well, if you believe your family member is dealing with depression.
3. Come together for a good cause.
Giving Back
i1.wp.comAlthough the holiday season is coming to an end it's always a great experience to go to your community and find ways to get involved. This brings your family together while helping you give back. You can start with feeding the homeless. This is an extremely rewarding activity that you can do with your family to help others who may be going through rough times.
My family and I have gotten together to fight drunk driving. We support research groups who are trying to find solutions for this serious issue and finding different avenues to get involved. We are currently finding organizations who work with repeat drunk driver accidents. Our cousins were killed by a driver who was known to drive drunk repeatedly; he was one of the thousands of cases of drivers who get back on the road, despite being convicted of driving drunk several times in the past. I think that getting involved has helped a lot of family members deal with the sense of helplessness you feel when you lose a loved one because of someone's else fault.
4. Find ways to bond.
Board Games
Ylanite Koppens on PexelAlthough our family has gone through a lot of loss, we always use humor and games to keep our bond strong. We also try to find activities to do together. By doing this, we bond better. the , family dinners can get stale or you may run out of things to talk about, but when you are out doing something, it's easier to connect with your family members. For example, our family always sings karaoke together or we play board games, especially during holidays and birthday celebrations.
This always ends in a lot of laughter and we end up with better memories. We have also done brunch cruises, mini golfing, Duffy boat rides and museums. We also started taking more trips together to the mountains during the holidays. We go on hikes and make dinner together, keeping us busy and stops us from thinking about what we may be missing with our family who lives far away while strengthening our family bonds.
No matter the size of your family, I believe that communication, making time to be together and sharing a meal at least once a week, are key to dealing with tragedies or hardships in a family. Everyone handles loss differently, and you don't have to sit and talk about it all the time because some of us don't work that way. But the act of just being together, embracing each other and coming together for a meal, can make a big difference. I say that with experience. As grandparents and parents get older, it's important to continue traditions and spend time together. As you and your children get older, they will understand that family comes first. Make sure the bond stays strong no matter where everyone is and how different your lives are.