As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I find myself always trying to be my best. I want to ace all of my tests at school, have an immaculate room at all times, and really just never mess up. I want everyone to love me. I want to succeed at every endeavor I attempt. You're probably thinking "yeah right, that's not real life." Well, you are right. It isn't. Not at all. But, as a perfectionist, dealing with the idea that life isn't perfect is not easy in the slightest. What is especially challenging is dealing with rejection. No one likes it, but perfectionists especially dread it. Just the word makes our hands sweat and minds race. It wasn't until my first rejection email after an interview for an internship did I realize how uncomfortable and life-changing rejection is. I went through a process of dealing with rejection for the first time, and it looked a little something like this...
First, self-loathing.
"I obviously messed up the interview. I have no experience. They didn't like what I was wearing. I can't believe I didn't tell them about that."
Perfectionists have a knack for hating any move they make that isn't perfect in their eyes or, more importantly, in the eyes of others. They want to do everything just right. So, when rejected, we are totally thrown off. We blame ourselves, overly criticizing every move we made while wishing we could go back and have just one more try. We inherently detest personal error. When it happens, it feels like the end of the world.
Next, sadness and disappointment.
"This was my big break. Now what? Who is going to want me now?"
Rejection makes most people mildly upset but makes us perfectionists very sad and disappointed. We feel anxious just at the thought of someone feeling we aren't qualified or right for whatever it is. In fact, it is proven that we are more sensitive to rejection. We don't feel ourselves after being rejected.
Finally, realization.
*cue deep breaths and the playing of "Don't Worry, Be Happy"*
After thinking way too long and hard about being rejected for the first time, I finally realized that it is okay. It is okay to not be perfect at everything. It is okay for things in life to not always go my way. In fact, after the experience of rejection, I felt stronger and, surprisingly, more confident in myself. Life is too short to spend so much time trying to be perfect and wishing that everything went our way.
Remember, the next time you are rejected or fail, there is a reason for it. Maybe it's the universe telling you to turn down a different path. Maybe whatever it was wasn't right for you in the first place. Whatever the case may be, own your mistakes. To the perfectionist reading this, I'm talking to you. You have to love everything about yourself, not just the good things. You have to understand that this life is a big conglomerate of not just successes, but a whole lot of failures too. You're still awesome, so don't give up.
