Many of us advocate for mental health awareness and other methods of improvement on the mind. However, for some, when it comes with hanging out with people with mental issues, it is a totally different story for them.
Some folks have a narrow-minded approach in "dealing" with people with mental issues. For example, when a person gets anxious talking to a cashier, the "friend" will tell him or her that it is not a big deal because that "friend" does it all the time, and they are friendly. And when the person can't do it, no matter how hard he or she tries, the "friend" becomes frustrated. Little does the "friend" know, the person had multiple negative situations with cashiers even from a young age. The problems became gradually more severe each time, to the point where it is difficult for the person to talk to a cashier. But not many people understand that.
There are people out there wanting to "help" others with mental issues by forcing their mindset onto them, rather than giving them an option. They think their way is the only best way, and that following it will fix everything. At the same time, the same people will get frustrated when others do not "follow" their way. Eventually, they give up and move on to other people because they do not want to "deal" with people with mental issues.
Even people with mental issues do the same to people with mental issues. We all want to help others with mental issues, but in the end, many of us, even those of us with mental issues, do not fully understand.
The Problems
I'm not going to lie, of course, because I have done these things. The ironic thing is that I, too, have mental issues (diagnoses: major depressive, behavioral, and anxiety disorders). Basically, I am a hypocrite of my own words. But this is why I should bring up the problems when others (even those who also have mental issues) hang out with people with mental issues.
Many times, when you hang out with a person with mental issues, you start to feel an urge to help them overcome it. You stick by that person whenever he or she is going through mental breakdowns or panic attacks. You suggest some methods on improving and such. Everything is good, right, until you start to lose your patience. You feel like everything has been a cycle, and you see little to no hope. Eventually, you become more and more irritated by every action the person is making. You start to grow cold towards that person and become more brutally blunt. You get into arguments with that person, and you pin the blame on them for many things. After that, you demand them to change, and that you will leave if they don't fulfill your command. Being that you are an impatient asshole, you just leave.
Other cases, you just forcefully give that person some "suggestions" on how to overcome the problems. You will criticize everything the person makes, and similarly, make demands to change. The same result will occur.
Often times, you start to see signs that the person is going through tough times mentally. You are there for that person and just give support. However, when it comes to the point that the person has a mental breakdown or attack, you start to feel uncomfortable. You slowly drift away because you feel like their issues are too much for you.
Potential Solutions?
Problems like these are often a result of lack of patience with people. We all want to move on with our lives, and usually, we want to remove people that we think drag us down. It is practically a human trait to remove negative aspects of life.
However, these types of situations give off much more negative effects on people with mental issues. The feeling of abandonment is such a terrible experience, but what is even worse is the feeling of abandonment because of their emotions and mental issues. In other words, you created a cycle for them that became a butterfly effect on their mentality. You intensified their mental issues, and you became another cause to an effect. You became what you advocated against.
If you think I am addressing this to someone in particular, you are right. I am addressing it to myself. Like I said before, I became a hypocrite to my own words and to myself, but I can change that. You can change that, too.
There is one biggest possible solution that can make even the slightest difference to everyone's lives: just be more patient with everyone. Everyone is going through tough times, no matter how big or small they are. Everyone has their own way of dealing and reacting towards situations. People work slow or fast. Some take months while others take a whole lifetime. Don't leave someone just because you are frustrated that they "aren't improving." Show some patience, support and compassion towards their efforts in their improvements.
To all those struggling from mental issues and going through tough times, we all have your back. Your life still matters. You will win the fight. It is okay to show your emotions. It is okay to not feel okay. It is okay to get help. It is not your fault, and it is never your fault. For every up, there will be a down. But for every down, there will be an up. That is why it is okay. Yes, things will get bad, but also, things will get better. You are not alone because we are here with you. The book you were about to close; you should open it back up. There are loads of pages that are blank. You know what to do. The pen is there. You can write or say whatever you want. You've got this. Your story does not end.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Suicide Crisis Line
1-800-784-2433
