Almost everyone suffers from some type of mental disorder at some point or another. Some people have short intervals of a disorder (like anxiety or depression), while others may live with a disorder from the time they are born to the time they die (schizophrenia). The point is, everyone has problem and sometimes those problems cannot be fixed. Being a college student I have found it very common to see others struggle with chronic anxiety and/or depression. On a personal note, if I went to a psychiatrist, I would probably be diagnosed with both anxiety and depression. Many mental disorders can be caused by I chemical imbalance in the brain while others are cause by one's surroundings. Let us take schizophrenia and compare it to anxiety and depression. If we met a person who is suffering from schizophrenia we recognize that this is a chemical imbalance that they cannot help so we put them on medication. For anxiety and depression, a person who suffers from one or both may be on medication but the reactions from people are different than from someone who is suffering from schizophrenia. One reaction that they could get is the same that a schizophrenic gets in the sense that they recognize that they need medication to help them get things under control. Another reaction that a person can get is that they should just ignore the problem because there is not really anything wrong with you or others have it way worse than you do. Why is this?
I cannot give you a answer to this question. All I can tell you is that telling a person to get over something that they cannot control only worsens their condition. I am mainly focusing on anxiety and depression because that is what I have the most experience with. Not to mention the fact that both of these disorders normally go hand in hand with each other. Let me give you a little taste of my life and describe to you how I have felt many times over and over again.
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Last year was my first time I had really been away from my family for a long period of time. I am not a very outgoing person in the first place, so for me to move two hours away to a place that I knew no one was terrifying. I already had a hard time communicating with my peers and I was very reserved and kept to myself. I was never really exposed to situations that I had to make new friends so trying to go out and be social was not happening (my chest is tightening right now thinking bout moving to another place I did not know). I slept all of the time because I needed something to do but I did not want to socialize because I would get uncomfortable. I was finding it hard to breathe some days and others I would feel like crying. At one point in the semester I called up one of my friends back home to ask advice because I was seriously considering switching to a school in my hometown. I was crying, I could not breathe, and I was trembling. Obviously I was having a panic attack and I knew I needed someone to talk to in order to help me focus. Later during the semester I ended up having another panic attack because I realized how much stuff I still had to complete in order to graduate on time. I ended up calling the same friend to talk to again because I was also going through some issues at the time with my now ex best friend. This friend is a really helped me a lot and the Lord knows that I am forever grateful for them.
All throughout the year I was constantly fighting between wanting to be productive and wanting to sleep. Sleep normally won. To me sleep was safe and I did not have to face the problems of the day. As a result of sleeping, my grades and gpa suffered. Right now I am at a 2.6 which is normal for a college kid I guess, but for someone who graduated high school with over a 4.0 this was devastating. I got to the point where I just did not care anymore about school and so I would not study like I should have to get the grades that I needed. I hated going to class even though I liked most of my teachers.
Fast forwarding to this year, I still struggle occasionally with bouts of anxiety and depression, however, it is definitely not as severe as it was last year. I love all my teachers this year but some classes I am struggling in. I found that, for me at least, getting involved more with the school has helped a little bit. I found a new family by joining a sorority (ASA for life), however, I still do not feel like I fully fit in considering that this is so far out of my comfort zone. I still feel like sleeping the day away instead of doing homework. I would rather watch movies by myself than invite friends over. But hey I am trying.
When I try to tell people about my issues I experience a few things. For starters, I am lucky if I can even say what I mean to say. I am terrible with words when it comes to talking face to face. Second, I feel like I am a burden when I talk about my problems. Third, I hate being the center of attention and having a whole conversation around me. Lastly, I am terrified that I will be made fun of or not taken seriously. When I have someone tell me that my problems are not real and that what I feel is just a phase or what not, it damages me. Sometimes I do not even need any comments or someone saying that what I feel is wrong. Like many others, I just want someone to agree with me.
You can tell a person all day long that what they are and what they are not, but you do not really know what they are struggling with. Therefore you have no right to tell someone that it is "just a phase" and that it will be over soon. Some people, like me, would rather try and figure stuff out by themselves instead of going to see someone. Others need someone to talk to in order to stay sane. What I really want all of you who read this to take away from this is to not judge or reprimand someone for being they way they are. Try to understand how a person is feeling from their perspective. Finally, NEVER EVER tell them that their problems are just imaginary.
