The holiday season. Once picturesque joy, now marred by the post-childhood stress of maturity. The prospect of returning home is now overshadowed by the threat of conflict. As young adults embark on their own experiences, their conception of the world diverges from what their parents have taught them. In some cases, this creates an incongruity between the child the parent knew, and the adult they have become. It sparks political dispute, social criticism, all sorts of arguments. Some students, faced with this, choose not to go home. Others simply remain quiet on the issues they know will be controversial. It creates resentment.
But before forgoing a parents house or detesting some relative, consider the following. People only converse for three reasons (in general). The first is that of necessity. In effect, they need help. Perhaps to order a coffee or to find the way to some street. The second: social obligation. Perhaps they are the one taking the coffee order or do not want to be perceived as an ass, so the give out directions. Finally, people engage in conversation because of interest. The most genuine form of conversation. The interest stems from many factors. Perhaps they have scholarly interest, curiosity, or, most importantly, they care.
When family members invite their brethren over, it is most likely because they want to catch up with them. It is very rare that they are included simply out of the social obligation of family to family, especially in circles of immediate relatives. The only reason people carry on an argument, beyond the intense satisfaction which comes from besting someone verbally, is that they care. Either they care about the topic, or they care about the person they are verbally assailing. If they care about the topic, and they are arguing with someone, that person is someone the deem important enough to try and change their mind.
To me, this puts a different spin on the arguments I have on the daily with my parents. They dislike my latest tattoo and when they argue with me about my tattoo, what they are really saying is: I think this decision will hurt you later in life, and therefore I am discussing it with you to try to make your life better. Does this realization help in most of our arguments. Not really, but in the aftermath it does. Obviously, people should stay away from family if they hurt them. Parents that abuse their children physically or mentally for their sexuality, or any other reason are good ones to avoid. But parents that simply are trying to have a conversation don't necessarily have to be.
Every once in a while, I think its good to meet people again. Close-knit or immediate family are usually assumed to have constant traits. Especially children, who change drastically as they mature. Favorite books, music, political ideologies, ect change throughout time. Being open to sharing and learning about those things can help bridge gaps between parents and children.