Failure has a very heavy connotation, as if whatever someone didn’t do, couldn’t do, or did wrong could have disastrous consequences. Failure is usually attached to situations where it is hard to come back from those consequences. To most, complete failure is very hard to come to, but rather we face mishaps or mess ups.
For me, and many overachievers like myself, failure is always right on the horizon. The simplest things, that should really not be a big deal, feel like the end of the world. A missed assignment that you just couldn’t do if you wanted to sleep, a day-long extension request for a project at work, an hour spent relaxing when you should have been doing homework all feel like major failures that will be almost impossible to come back from. When things like this happen, I start to see connections between future incidents and these moments when they really have nothing to do with each other. Which of course always leads to the dreaded thoughts of “what if?”
The feeling that comes with slip ups that seem like major failures is horrible. I feel as if I have let everyone down and that my whole system will fall apart now. But the thing is, these moments really are just slip ups. It’s not the end of your education if a single assignment in a class. The company won’t fall apart if it takes an extra day to complete a project. Sometimes relaxing is more important than studying because self-care is definitely a thing you need to be doing. And part of that self-care also needs to be realizing the difference between slip ups and failures.
Failures very rarely happen, usually it’s just a slip up. You got a C on a paper because you forgot to address a topic? A slip up. You thought you had three things due tonight, but it’s actually four? A slip up. You had to miss two days of class because you were sick? Not a failure, not a slip up, not your fault.
This understanding is something I have struggled with my whole life and have only begun to come to terms with recently. I realize how well I do in school is not the most important thing in the world and letting things slide every once and a while is okay. Self-care and taking time to live your life are important too. Go hang out with your friends on Friday night instead of getting ahead on homework. If you’re having trouble staying awake during homework, take a quick nap and then start again later.
If you take care of yourself and make sure you have fun, not only will you feel better, but everything else will fall into place as well. Planning to get homework done is easy because you’re looking forward to going to a theme park on Saturday. Relaxing for an hour after you get home from class before you start your homework can make you more productive because you had a quick break. Less stress will make a happier you. So for everyone out there, especially the overachievers, I want to say it loud and clear: You’re not a failure. It’s not the end of the world. You had a moment. Take a deep breath and keep going.
