Eczema is something I remember having from a very young age (5 or 6 years old). My earliest memories of it are from kindergarten, when my mom would look at the state of the inside of my elbows and yell at me to stop scratching. It's something that has gotten better with age, but doctors say will never fully go away, since there is no real cure.

A lot of people don't really understand what eczema is, and to be honest, I don't completely understand what it is and how it works either, but there are a few key elements to having it. The first is that your skin has trouble retaining moisture, so it can get really dry. On top of that, it itches, sometimes a lot. And as if that wasn't enough, if you scratch to relieve the itch, it can cause the area to get really red and inflamed, leaving you with a rash. So it's hard to win. Sometimes, when flare-ups get really bad around my eyes, people inquire worriedly about whether I've been punched in the face. I wake up at night not realizing I was scratching my skin in my sleep, or put on lotion only to get itchy and rub it all off.

Eczema isn't an allergic reaction, and it can't be spread to other people. There are different degrees of it, and while some people have only mild eczema, for others it's a lot worse. I'd say mine is mild most of the time, but flare-ups can make it pretty bad. It's not dangerous, despite how scary it may look sometimes, though it can be painful and itchy. And of course, it's not just the physical symptoms, it's the psychological ones as well.

To avoid sugarcoating it, it can sometimes be hard to avoid feeling like a freak whenever I'm having a particularly bad flare-up, especially on my face, which is harder to hide than other areas like my arms and legs. Sometimes I feel jealous of people that don't have to worry about moisturizing every morning as a necessity, or being able to wear makeup without damaging their skin.

Of course, going to the doctor helps, and there are plenty of lotions with steroids or other medicinal qualities that exist to help eczema, but it doesn't get rid of the problem, only the flare-ups. It can always come back.

Over the years, though, I've learned to be comfortable in my own skin. I have plenty of scars and marks on my body from eczema, but it just marks another part of my journey and my life, in the same way as the scars from the falls I've had, or my biking accidents, or dog scratches, or what have you. When people would notice and ask, I used to be too self-conscious to just say it was eczema, but I'm not too worried about people judging me for it now.

It will always be a part of my, but it won't stop me from doing my thing.