The holiday season is a time when families are supposed to get together and (maybe) not argue for a couple hours. It's a time when anything seems possible as cheery Christmas songs play through the radio. There are beautiful lights, gorgeous trees, and the promise of hope- hope of a Savior that came a long time ago. But amidst all the merriment and candy canes, it is sometimes hard to get into the "Christmas spirit" because maybe this Christmas, there is an empty chair where your grandparent, sibling, parent, or best friend used to sit. You look around and try to laugh at jokes they'll never hear, and listen to family updates they'll never get to give again. There are no presents with their name on it, nor do they smile in the family card.

Losing someone close to you is hard. But losing someone you love around the holidays is like an extra kick in the teeth. And going through, especially that first round of Thanksgiving's and Christmas's and Easter's and birthdays without them sucks. There's not really another way to say it. It sucks. When ads focus on getting the family together and everything being happy and cheery like a made-for-TV movie, it's tough to not get discouraged about the whole thing and go full on Eeyore.

The only thing that kept my head above water when I lost my grandmother (who I was very close to) four days before Christmas, was the fact that she was healed and in a better place. And as much as that's great to hear, it does not stop me from missing her on her birthday, or random days when I see something that I know would make her smile. I think that today, when we lose someone, we feel pressure to think that we are supposed to say "well they are in Heaven and healed so it's okay" and always be in the mood to celebrate their life. That way of thinking is dangerous because it makes the natural process of grieving seem like a mistake that we fall into. Now, I think that it is important to remember that loved ones in Heaven are healed and with Christ, but it is also very okay and very natural to miss them. It is okay to miss someone so much that you think your heart is going to explode. It is okay to break down crying at seemingly odd times just because you miss them or because you expect them to walk through the door any minute. It is okay to not be okay.

With that said, I think it is so important that, especially around the holidays, to hug and keep close those people who are family to you-- whether blood related or not. Cherish the times you're able to spend together, even if there is bickering. Celebrate the memories of those you've lost by making new memories and laughing at new jokes and eating at new places. Celebrate them and celebrate Christ, and even the toughest holiday can be even just a bit better.