Long distance relationships are often criticized by people who have had no experience in one. Many people believe there is no way it can work out. I used to be one of these people but all it took was the right person to change my mind. I am not going to say it’s easy, because it’s not; but you have to try it in order to find out.
My boyfriend lives upstate in Syracuse. I live in Orange County, and go to school in New Jersey. He lives 3-4 hours away, depending on where I am. This means I don’t have the luxury of seeing him whenever I want. I can’t be with him when I am upset, or vice versa. Communication is not always the best, since we are both always busy, but it is enough.
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A common concern everyone has about a long distance relationship is the inability to see each other. For me, this was a big concern, but now that I am experiencing it, I think it is a good thing. Spending too much time with an individual can sometimes be harmful because it can cause a lot of tension, and oftentimes we don’t appreciate the moments the way we should.
The time we spend apart allows us to appreciate each other even more when we finally have the opportunity to see each other again. I also think that the distance is beneficial because it allows us both to live our own, separate lives. When two people have the ability to do everything together, that is usually what they do. I think that relationships work best when each partner does their own thing, separate from their relationship.
Long distance relationships can also teach a lot about communication. I think that it is common for everyone to expect immediate responses from our partners, since our phones are always right by our side. But from what I learned from this relationship is that the other person is not just sitting around waiting for a reply. He has a busy life, and so do I. Over time, we began to learn each other’s schedules.
I tend to know the days/times he has work, and he knows when I have class. This makes communication a lot easier since we have a general idea of when we are both busy. No matter how busy our day is, we always have time to talk on the phone at least once. Texting is nice, and convenient, but so often the conversations get lost throughout the day, since we are always answering late. Besides, there’s nothing like hearing his voice after a long day.
There have been times that I look at other couples and think “I wish that could be me.” But when I really think about it, I don’t. It is such a rewarding feeling to see my boyfriend after the time we spent apart. I never thought I would be the girl in a long distance relationship, but here I am. I never had enough trust in someone to go through with a relationship like this. But with Ben, it was different. I have so much trust in him, which is why I was never afraid to try. When I am on my way to see him, or know he is on his way to see me, excitement fills my heart. I feel like a kid on Christmas. That excitement is what makes this relationship so special. Whether I see him once a week, or once a month, I love him just as much.
Long distance relationships are unique, and they are not made for everyone. But when you find the right person, any type of distance is worth it. Sometimes not seeing each other can be tough, but together you are able to learn that you can be just as happy as anyone else, despite the distance. You have to be willing to work for your relationship, and know that communication is not always going to be perfect. Some days will be better than others. But at the end of the day, you still love each other, and know that you will be able to see each other again soon.
