Death is something that everyone will have to deal with at some point in their lives. As much as we'd like to think it is our own death we'll have to come to accept, there will be a multitude of others that we will have to go through before our own. As I have written about before, I think I have been to the more funerals than anyone my age. Because of this, I have gained a wrapped picture of death. However, this past week I have been challenged to see the idea of death from a different view.
My great uncle was recently put into hospice care. This is something that he has wanted since he signed his will nearly a decade ago. He set up his health care proxy, his power of attorney, his everything. So when we got the phone call saying he was in the hospital there wasn't a second thought for my mother and I to drop what we were doing and go to the other coast to see how we could to help. My mother called out of work, I canceled my plans for week and off we went.
However, as I informed my friends about why I had to suddenly cancel, I was met with the clear message that not all understood why we had to go, and what exactly we were doing. The terms that I had grown up learning were not in their vocabulary. Hospice nurses and other aides were part of my childhood, and I found it odd when other kids in first grade didn't have random women in scrubs helping their grandparents, but rather had them living in nursing homes. Now, in my 20s, I find it odd when someone else finds me odd for having funeral clothes at the ready at all times.
Dealing with hospice at any age is hard though. And as we millennials age, so do our parents and it something that no one really is prepared for, no matter how much you think you are. Listening to your loved one say they don't want anymore help, anymore more treatment, is a difficult pill to swallow. Seeing them cry as they ask for someone is enough to break your heart. Being able to do nothing but wait for them to pass is about the worse thing you will ever go through, and it is something you will have to go through over and over again.
Hospice, though, provides some closure. You know for a long while that your loved one is dying, and that they are in pain. You can say your goodbyes, complete their bucket list, and get out all the words that have to be said. The nurses are some of the best people you will get to meet. This is the job they have picked, and they will love your loved one as much as humanly possible. They understand more than anyone else out there what you are going through, and are more than willing to try and help you through the process.
That is the main thing that you will have to understand when you go through this. This whole thing is a process. It is a process of you understanding what is happening to your loved one. It is a process of your loved one dying on their own terms. Everyone goes through this process at their own speed, and only when the time is right for them. Then it is a process of healing
