So I'm a high school dance teacher, a dancer teacher at two dance studios -- both about 30 minutes away from my house -- a graduate student, a member of sorority graduate chapter that is an hour away from me and I have friends that I like to see occasionally. I did the math last week and I work between 55-60 hours per week. PER. WEEK. That's insane. I've had panic attacks, sat in my car and cried and binge ate because I therapeutically felt I have no time for myself. I was trying so hard to give 100% to everything that I was running on empty. And venting or complaining didn't help me either because I always got one of the following answers:
"Don't work so much. You can live off of one income."
"Just move back in with your parents!"
"You need to find time to take for yourself."
Each time I heard one of these responses, I gave a classic eye roll, said "Okay, thanks" and walked away feeling even more frustrated. It was annoying when I didn't hear the answers I wanted, but after a while, I realized that I am never going to find the answers I am looking for from other people. I have to find them myself.
One night, I was on the phone with a good friend, and I was complaining about work, feeling tired, overwhelmed and being an overall Negative Nancy. After almost three weeks of complaining to her, she told me that I've changed. She told me "Lustra, ever since you've started working this much all you do is complain. You use to be so positive and full of life. Talking to you now is draining for me. I almost dread calling you or picking up the phone when you call because I'm not sure if you're going to drain the energy out of me today. I love you but things have got to change. You're not Lustra anymore."
Wow.
I was just told by one of the most important people in my life that I was draining to them and they don't look forward to talking to me anymore. I don't cry often but that was one of the hardest truths to listen to. I had to figure out a way to take all of that negative energy I was carrying and not dump it on someone else. It's not their job to carry my emotional burdens. I had to find an alternative way to take care of myself. After praying and searching for answers, I realized that I was trying to run on empty. I had no more juice left in me because I was so overwhelmed and had nothing else to give. So I resulted in dumping my frustration on the ones I love. I forgot how to drink from a glass that's half full instead of half empty.
So how do I fix it? How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed? How do I still complaining so much and draining the people I love the most?
1. Say no.
I have a real problem with telling people no. If someone asks me to do something, I always say yes. If there is a time when someone asks me to do something and I truly do not have time, I say no. I tell them I do not have time.
2. When you tell people no, replace that time with therapeutic activities that make you happy.
Yoga, adult coloring books, reading, writing (hint, hint) or even cooking are great activities that will take your mind off the stress. Doing something that makes you happy can take so much stress off of your body.
3. Distance yourself for people who are draining (like me...just kidding please come back).
We don't realize how much the attitudes of people around us affect our energy. It sounds so cliche, but keep the "good vibes only" mantra in your head. Only allow positive energy into yourself. Hold up your guard and keep the negativity blocked out of your aura.
4. TURN YOUR PHONE OFF.
One of the hardest things for us do. We are so attached to these little rectangles of death and we forget that people can wait. We drain ourselves by constantly checking messages, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, etc. Learn to distance yourself from your phone. Trust me. It'll help.
***currently taking my own advice and wow it's a challenge***
Moral of the story is to take care of yourself. No one else can do it for you. And be grateful. Complaining is a habit we all need to break but YOU control the energy you exude. Just always make sure it's positive.
God Speed, Friends. Stay healthy. Stay happy. Spread Love.
Lustra <3