I am legally obligated to tell you there is going to be some graphic content and spoilers, and the words "fuck," "Shit," "Shake Weight," and "Douchebag" are used in this article. You have legally been warned, or whatever.

Okay, well the time is here. "Deadpool" has hit theaters and broken records worldwide, which it absolutely deserves. The movie is filmed with action, comedy, lots of gore and tons of just plain awesomeness. I'm not here to tell you about all of the nitty gritty things that film critics get into, though, I'm here to tell you the straight up truth about the Merc with a Mouth's feature film.

Now let's get to making the chimichangas.

Right off the bat, "Deadpool" gives viewers a gut ache by showing nods to star Ryan Reynolds' past career as the Green Lantern and even features his "Sexiest Man Alive" cover from when he was on the cover of People magazine. The opening credits also do not feature the usual names of actors and crew, but rather things like "Some Douchebag's Film," "A Moody Teen," and "God's Perfect Idiot." This immediately set the movie apart from all other superhero films.

After the opening credits roll, and we get a fair dose of comedy and violence, the camera focuses on the mundane experience of the merc himself riding in a cab, but gives us acute jokes to pass the time. Directly after Pool gets out and pays the driver with a "crisp high five," we are given a head-jerking-seat-grabbing-heart-pounding action sequence that is simply unparalleled with other big Hollywood films out right now. During said sequence, there are great one liners that allows the action to blend seamlessly with the trademark Deadpool comedy.

Great, so we have established how I feel about the first few minutes in the film (I loved them.) Fast forward a few minutes, and we are given a flashback of before Ryan Reynolds had to "squeeze his ass into red Spandex."

(Yes, there is a GIF for that.)

So, right, back to the flashback. This is where the creators of the movie took a page out of the comic book, because Wade Wilson (Deadpool [Ryan Reynolds]) goes into some random douchebag's house and orders a pizza to his address, just to threaten the pizza guy. If you are an avid fan of the comics, you will know exactly which reference I am talking about. After this playful banter including guns, pizza (with pineapple and olives), and bedazzled jeans, we get our first look at the mercenaries' hangout, and our first look at Wade's best friend, Weasel (T.J. Miller). We get an idea of the friendship between the two when Wade directly goes and asks for a blowjob multiple times, which we later find out was actually a specialty drink. The bar is so well planned and played out, and it truly feels like the run down hell hole that it is. Which is great, no sarcasm intended.

Soon, it is revealed to us that Weasel bet against Wade in the dead pool, which is where mercenaries bet on the deaths of other mercenaries to make money to buy new mercenary toys. Wade soon meets his love interest, and there is a wonderful montage of tasteful sexual encounters that correspond with holidays. Family friendly, kids! Soon after that, Wade meets a dark and brooding man who offers him a chance to save his life. (What does he need saving from? That is for you to find out. I won't spoil that.) He kind of sounded like an infomercial.

Wade takes the deal, and we know where that goes.

Wade gets the treatment, which ultimately helps him and unlocks his mutant gene, which is an incredible healing factor, making him immortal. But wait! There's a catch. He becomes super ugly in the process.

This is super fine tuned as an origin story, and offers us a fair amount of buildup to when we get America's favorite asshole. The scenes that take up the transformation are extremely serious but also gives us a dose of Pool's famous one-liners without being distracting. Well done un-named douchebag who directed this, well done.

Now, let's jump back to the future.

Soon after, we meet Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, two X-Men that come to either stop or recruit Deadpool. Which doesn't go well.

... in either case. These scenes in particular blend the violent, serious, plot building, and humorous nature of the movie. At one point, I was actually in tears from laughing so hard at an action sequence, Just a plain action sequence. It was great.

After a montage of comedy and violence that makes up the bulk of the movie, Deadpool faces his nemesis, Ajax (or Francis), who had turned him into an avocado. This is when we truly learn how much of a badass Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Possibly the coolest superhero name ever, by the way.) really is. After she finishes her tweet, that is.

So, after this wicked, epic fight sequence, that takes place on a helicarrier (so cool, right?), Deadpool ultimately wins the day and saves the girl.

Overall, I would say the movie was incredible. There were some parts that were lacking (Francis, for example, seemed a little flat for a villain), but not enough to ruin the movie.

Absolutely phenomenal, 15/10, great, bonkers, over the top, perfect. Go see this movie (Which at this point is just so you can see that large chunk that I decided to leave out...). Go!