As a mostly-dead individual, it is occasionally hard to pretend that I am just like the living, breathing humans that surround me. Here are some helpful, often-forgotten tips on how to pass as alive.
Blink
Blinking keeps the eyes hydrated and moist. Just like skin, eyeballs are protective and important. Their hydration is vital to visionary survival.
Breathe
Have you ever died? Possibly. However, have you ever ceased to breathe for a prolonged period of time? If so, you know it is not comfortable. Most living humans do not enjoy the sensation of dying. In order to breathe, remember these two steps: inhale, exhale.
Think
Although some humans are incapable of logic, critical thinking, or basic knowledge, thinking is still part of what it takes to be alive. You will be more accepted in society if you can form coherent thoughts in your mind. This is subjective, and not worth talking about. If you are reading this article, you are probably thinking already.
