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Days Of The Week As Told By Schmidt From New Girl

Mondays are the 'youths' of the week.

Oct 31, 2016

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

Days Of The Week As Told By Schmidt From New Girl

Can we all agree that Schmidt from New Girl is one of the funniest characters on any given television show of the 21st century? Now compare his sense of humor with the characteristics of the week days. Funny, right? If Schmidt could rename the days of the week, here is what he would call them and why:

1. Monday - 'Youths!'

Any true fan of the show knows just how much Schmidt hates 'youths' a.k.a. any type of rowdy teenager disturbing the town. That's a Monday for sure.

2. Tuesday - 'Pine has no place in this loft'

Remember that episode when Jess brought home the pine shelves and Schmidt would not have it in his loft because he thinks pine is for poor people? Tuesdays may not just be for those less fortunate, but they are not exciting days. It's still the beginning of the week and there is still such a long week ahead of you. Tuesdays have no place in this loft!

3. Wednesday - 'Schmidt Happens'

Right in the middle of the week, Wednesdays are kind of just there. They're just plain days, not much to complain about but nothing to brag about either.

4. Thursday - 'Driving Moccasins' Day

It's so close to Friday, you're getting ready to put your driving moccasins on and go for a joy ride!

5. Friday - Relaxing 'Mono' Day

What better way to spend the evening after a long week of work than to spend it chilling in a super comfy kimono all night?

6. Saturday - The 'Freakin Weekend'

It's Saturday! Woo! This is by far Schmidt's favorite day.

7. Sunday - Pep Talk Day

While Sunday is still a day without work, the overwhelming thought of the upcoming week is constantly in the back of your mind. Schmidt would definitely use this day to motivate himself to be strong for the rest of the week until the next weekend.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Days Of The Week As Told By Schmidt From New Girl

Mondays are the 'youths' of the week.

1. Monday - 'Youths!'

2. Tuesday - 'Pine has no place in this loft'

3. Wednesday - 'Schmidt Happens'

4. Thursday - 'Driving Moccasins' Day

5. Friday - Relaxing 'Mono' Day

6. Saturday - The 'Freakin Weekend'

7. Sunday - Pep Talk Day

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

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