Procrastination.

My old friend who shows up at the most inopportune times and who always overstays his welcome. I can usually ignore his petty attempts at gaining my attention and am able to keep myself to a strict schedule to get things done before they’re due. I have my trusty purple, full-page sized At-A-Glance calendar with all the assignments color-coded by class, written into the box for their due date and then checked and/or highlighted based on whether they’ve been completed/finalized.

Sounds like a pretty well thought out, organized system doesn’t it? It actually works pretty well – but there are those times when writer’s block takes hold and Bam! Procrastination sneaks in and somehow everything else seems to creep to the top of the priority category.

I’m supposed to be the “organized” one, the “responsible” one, and the one who keeps everyone else on track. I am, I really am! But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes need someone else to light a fire under my tush when deadlines are approaching. I think that mostly it’s the anxiety of sitting in one place too long, fingers hovering over the keyboard, itching to quickly tap out the brilliant prose that will amaze and astound.

So why are they just hovering? Probably because my mind is an absolute blank! That’s when distractions are the most tempting and the most difficult to ignore. That’s also when Procrastination knocks on my door.

Do I have ADHD?

Maybe. They wanted to test me but I told them we’d have to do that later because… Buzz!

Ooh, my phone buzzed. I’m waiting to hear from AT&T to find out when they will be delivering my new iPhone 7.

I’ll just take a quick peek at my email. It’ll only take a second to check the status; so it’s not AT&T but who’s this from? A discount at my favorite restaurant and it expires tonight? Well we definitely can’t let that go to waste! I’ll just send out a quick group text to see who’s up for last-minute dinner plans. That shouldn’t take too long.

What? My essay? No problem, I’ll work on it later.

There is a method to the madness of how I get my assignments done:

Throughout the course of a normal week, I space out my work based on due dates and the complexity of the assignments. I try to get all my discussion postings done early so that I have more time to focus on any papers, research, etc. I also set aside time to work on brainstorming ideas and topics for upcoming assignments.

So what do I have going on this week for school? Romantic Literature 509: Discussion Board post and two responses – check, check, check! Creative Nonfiction 530: Discussion Board post and two responses – check, check, and check! Personal Essay… hmmm, I have to work on that… but I also have to come up with ideas for my upcoming research paper for Romantic Literature.

Well, I do like Jane Austen and she is technically a Romantic. Maybe I’ll put on “Sense and Sensibility” for inspiration. Let me just power on the television and put the blu-ray in the tray. Wow, that Emma Thompson wrote a brilliant screenplay adaptation.

That actor playing Colonel Brandon looks awfully familiar. Ooh, is that Alan Rickman, the actor who played Professor Snape in the Harry Pottermovies? Yes, I think that's him and I think I know what the next movie I watch will be – Harry Potter anyone?

No, it won’t distract me; I just need some background noise. Look how young they all were! I haven’t seen this one in quite awhile. I forgot how much I love these movies!

What? My essay? No problem, I’ll work on it later.

Ok, I’m really going to do this now. I’m sitting at my desk, I have my drink next to me, the lighting is good, the room is at a comfortable temperature, I turned off the TV and have nice background music to get me going so there are no more distractions. Perfect! Here’s a brand-new, blank word document that’s just waiting to be filled with my brilliant essay. Ready fingers? Let’s get to typ-… Buzz! Buzz!

Oh wait, that’s my phone again – a new text – I have to take a quick peek. It won’t take long. My cousin is asking me to give him a ride to work tomorrow.

“Sure, I can do that!”

“Cool, I’ll treat you to Starbucks when you pick me up too, thank you.”

“Sounds great, see you then!”

Ooh, Starbucks sounds good right now. I think I'll just pop over and get myself a quick drink. It's time for a break anyway.

Great, now that's all settled. Hmmm, now what was I just about to do?

What? My essay? No problem, I’ll work on it later.

While I’ve been checking my phone, watching movies, getting drinks and catching up with friends, I’ve realized that my old friend Procrastination came to visit. He’s been here awhile and has been trying to make himself at home.

Sorry old friend, I can’t have you around anymore. We had a good thing going but you just got way too comfortable and have been taking advantage of my writer’s block and ADHD tendencies. I should’ve had this essay done days ago and here I am, the day before it’s due, still working.

I think it’s time for “The Talk,” you know which one I mean. “I think we’re better off going our separate ways. This relationship just isn’t healthy anymore… yada, yada, yada. I have my essay to work on and I have no idea what it will be about because you keep distracting me. No, I don’t think we can stay friends; you keep taking advantage of the situation and no amount of …" Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

Ooh, what’s that? Why is my alarm going off?

“Stop Procrastinating, Put Away Your Phone & Work On Your Paper!!!”

The words flash at me from my phone’s screen as my “earlier” self dares me to keep allowing the distractions to postpone my homework. I sheepishly put my phone facedown and once again position my fingers so they are hovering over those 8 home keys we all learned so long ago: a-s-d-f-j-k-l-; They are just itching to tap out an amazing essay!

Wow, that alarm did a pretty good job of snapping me out of my daydream. Did I just figure out how to get myself back on track when I get distracted? Maybe. Setting alarms to get my head out of the clouds sounds easy enough, especially if they wake me up from my daydreaming… hmmm, I wonder how many alarms the new iPhone 7 can handle. I’ll just check it out online real quick; it won’t take me that long.

What? My essay? No problem, I’ll work on it later.

Wait... It is later?? Why didn’t you tell me??? Ok fingers, start flying!!!!