Welcome. This is a look inside my life. My full name is Gus Gus the Hamster and I’m going to show you what a normal day looks like for me. I start the day by-

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Hello. My name is Gus. Sorry about that pause. I fell asleep. I start my day at 11:30 at night. The air smells like carrots so I sniff around my bedroom door. Sniff sniff. No carrots. Quick twenty-minute nap. Up again and down the tubes. The carrots! Munch munch munch pause for water munch munch munch. Full stomach, time to run to Timbuktu!

I run for hours. The humans complain it bothers them so I keep doing it. They don’t understand how boring my home is with all the tubes. I need more wheels. I heard talk of a trampoline. Those tubes? Are just hallways. No fun for me. Run run run pause for water run run run.

Then my day is over and I sleep at the late hour of 6:30 in the morning. I live a full life and sleep for the rest of the-WHAT IS THAT EARTHQUAKE WHO IS SCREAMING AT ME

This documentary was almost over but then the humans woke up and started SCREAMING. Leave me alone. They talk but I just hear a loud fog horn that interrupts whatever I’m doing. Sleeping. Eating. Running on my wheel.

Listen to this! Remember how I said the humans don’t like the wheel? Sometimes they decide it’s “too loud” for them and they hold my wheel. Until. It. Stops.

Have you ever heard of anything so rude?

I’m saving up to buy my own apartment. Far away from them and their “cuddles.” Maybe I can buy new humans, too. But enough of that for now. It is time for me to-