6:00 a.m.:Kanye West wakes up to his morning alarm — “I am a God” by Kanye West. That gets him up every time. He is currently living in a private Gateway. He uses the extra three rooms as walk-in closets for all of his clothes and shoes.

6:05 a.m.: Kanye sends his first tweet of the day.

6:15 a.m.: Kanye’s private Gateway chef puts his breakfast on the table as his handler feeds it to him. These hands are way too powerful and important to use silverware — these hands are for music.

6:30 a.m.: Kanye’s hair and makeup team arrive to get him ready for the day. “The usual buzz,” he tells this hairstylist. He turns to his makeup artist. “Make me look like me. You can’t aim any higher than that.” The two nod and get to work.

7:30 a.m.: Kanye stands in his Gateway bedroom-turned-walk-in-closet and stares at his options. “A God must wear the clothing of a God,” he says aloud to himself. He continues to stare.

7:45 a.m.: Kanye selects his outfit: a Yeezus Tour t-shirt with black pants and a skirt all from the Kanye West clothing line. Perfection.

8:00 a.m.: Kanye sits in his Intro to Psych class. His handler sits beside him taking notes. There is nothing about the mind and how people work that Yeezus does not already know.

8:10 a.m.: Rolling his eyes, Kanye pulls out his phone and sends his second tweet of the day.

8:45 a.m.: Kanye’s teacher passes back their exam grades ... 95. This is an outrage. Kanye deserves nothing less than a 100. He concludes the teacher is an incompetent peasant and vows to make sure she does not get tenured.

9:00 a.m.: Kanye attends his bio lab. He hates lab because he has to follow sets of instructions. Kanye hates instructions; they harsh his creative genius. Kanye’s lab partner measures the incorrect amount of chemicals. I’m surrounded by idiots.

12:00 p.m.: Kanye heads to the terrace room for lunch. His table by the window is already set with fine china and his plush red throne. A scrumptious chicken parm is placed in front of him. “Thanks Zerna,” he says with a soft smile. Kanye loves Zerna’s chicken parm.

1:00 p.m.: Kanye laces up his brand new Adidas Yeezy Boost sneakers and heads to the gym. His shoes are already sold out in every Adidas store in the country. Wearing them to the gym makes him feel untouchable.

1:05 p.m.: Kanye feels a pre-workout tweet coming on.

1:15: p.m.: Kanye’s people clear out the athlete weight room so he can exercise in peace. The basketball team can come back later. Kanye needs to focus on Kanye. He’s definitely in the zone.

1:20 p.m.: Kanye blasts his ultimate workout playlist from the speakers composed of Kanye’s West’s greatest hits. “Stronger” starts pulsating through the room. Let’s do this. Kanye picks up his 10-pound weights and begins pumping iron.

2:20 p.m.: Kanye remembers he has a recruitment event to attend. He chooses not to shower, as the sweat of Kanye West is the sweat of a God.

2:30 p.m.: Kanye arrives at the Alpha house. Alpha is the fraternity that Kanye himself founded. Alpha means the first. The first is the greatest. The first is an original. Kanye West is the Alpha.

2:45 p.m.: Kanye pretends to be enthusiastic about the commoners, hoping to be a part of his elite fraternity, arriving at his house and walking all over his custom-made Parisian rug placed perfectly in the foyer. Peasants.

3:00 p.m.: Kanye is finding it hard to talk to these people. All they want to talk about is their pea-brained majors. Kanye created his own major: Godliness with a concentration in the art of greatness. I don’t care about your measly biomedical engineering requirements.

4:00 p.m.: Kanye calls for the members of Alpha to get new composite photos taken. He requires new photos once a week so that their hair and props are always ahead of the trends. Last week’s composite featured sunglasses with lines across the eyes. Ever since then, everyone has started wearing them which means a new composite is crucial.

4:15 p.m.: Kanye puts on his gold chain — the new accessory for this week’s composite — and sits in front of the camera. He always calls in esteemed fashion photog Mario Testino to take the pics. He wouldn’t settle for anything less.

4:30 p.m.: Kanye arrives at the 2015 Greek Sing competition. Kanye prefers not to call it a competition, as he does not have any. Alpha is God.

4:45 p.m.: Kanye stands on stage, a single spotlight on his ethereal self and holds the mic to his lips. He starts spitting the lyrics to “Jesus Walks” by Kanye West. The other members of Alpha have not been invited to perform on stage with him, as they would be too distracting. I am a mesmerizing performer.

5:15pm:Kanye is bored by the other acts. He sends a tweet.

5:30 p.m.: Kanye sits in the front row of the Weis Center auditorium. He eagerly awaits the announcer to crown Alpha as the winner. “And the winner is ... Sigma Pi!” Kanye is in disbelief. What the hell?

5:33 p.m.: Kanye decides he cannot sit there and watch the idiots of Sigma Pi receive his award. Kanye decides to do something about it.

5:35 p.m.: Kanye rushes onto the stage and grabs the mic from the Sigma Pi president. “Imma let you finish,” Kanye didn’t really mean that, “but Alpha had the greatest Greek Sing performance of all time!” Kanye drops the mic and walks away. He throws his hands up and walks down the aisles of people as they stand and cheer for him as “Clique” by Kanye West fills the theater with beautiful music. This is my victory walk.

6:00 p.m.: Kanye arrives at Kim Kardashian’s dorm room to pick out her outfit for tonight’s formals. He selects a floor length Givenchy gown complete with Cartier diamonds. This will land her on the best-dressed list for sure.

6:30 p.m.: Kanye’s on-hand tailor arrives to custom-fit him into his brand new Tom Ford suit. Kanye tops off the look with his 3/4 birthday present to himself — a new gold Rolex. He is oozing with swag.

7:00 p.m.: Kanye and Kim get their hair and makeup done. They proceed to take many, many selfies. Kanye makes sure Kim posts them to every social media account in existence. This formals look must break the Internet

8:00 p.m.: Kanye and Kim pull up to Brasserie Louis in a black stretch limo. “I’ll protect you from the paparazzi babe,” he assures her.

8:02 p.m.: Kanye steps out of the limo. A single freshman boy, assigned by Alpha to take pictures of the guests arriving, stands by the door and starts snapping away. Kanye shoves Kim behind him. “No pictures, please!” He sticks his hand out, making sure not to cover up his face. Kanye hopes the boy got his good side.

8:30 p.m.: Kanye pretends he is having a good time dancing the night away to Taylor Swift songs.

8:45 p.m.: Kanye is not having it. He walks up to the DJ booth and lets the amateur know that he will be taking over now.

8:50 p.m.: Kanye sends a tweet out to his boys, letting them know he’s spinning at Lewisburg’s hottest nightclub Brasserie. It’s time to really get this party started.

9:00 p.m.: Kanye’s crew rolls up to Brasserie as he plays the Kanye West “Watch the Throne” album on loop. Formals turns up and the members of Alpha start going crazy with Diddy, Drizzy, Breezy, Weezy, Jay, Eminem and more.

11:30 p.m.: Kanye is worn out. It’s hard being the best. He fetches the limo and heads back to campus. Yeezy, out!

12:00 p.m.: Kanye falls asleep knowing he’s had yet another super impactful day on the world. He can now rest easy. Man, it’s great to be Kanye West.