Unlike most of the population, going to the beach is not something I look forward to when summer approaches. I know this sounds inhuman to most people, but there are a few others like me out there that would rather be anywhere, doing anything, other than going to the beach. However, if all of my friends are planning a beach day, I will suck it up. A couple weeks ago, I found myself doing just that, and here’s how it went:

5:30 a.m. – I should be asleep right now.

I already dislike most things about being at the beach, but the fact that I have to get up this early makes it all worse. Hearing my alarm go off at 5:30, I groan to myself. The beach doesn’t open until 8, but Cape Cod traffic is relentless. So much for a good night’s sleep. Do I even wear a bathing suit? None of mine are cute. Am I going to go in the water at all? Maybe I’ll just bring a lot of really good snacks.

8:00 a.m. – My feet are on fire!

We’ve arrived, and I start listing to myself everything that I could do without right now: the crowds of people, the wind, the smell of salt, the sun that is roasting my skin, the sand that is being flicked up my butt by my flip flops, the fact that I still have to squint even though I’m wearing sunglasses, pretty much everything. I take off my shoes and the sand feels like it is melting my toes off.

10:49 a.m. – It’s basically lunch time, right?

Everyone is in the water, but the idea of me swimming right now makes me laugh. I go down to the shore with them just to feel the water, but I immediately walk back to my chair. I can’t stop yawning, and my stomach growls. I eat my lunch…and then all my snacks… Now what?

1:15 p.m. – Is it time to go home yet?

How are all these people having fun? I’m sitting in my chair dripping in sweat, and I’ve barely moved a muscle all day. A baby starts crying nearby. All of my friends are still in the ocean. My phone is sitting inside a cooler because it had been overheating. I have no food left. I stare at a seagull that is walking by all of our bags. Maybe I’ll take a nap.

3:52 p.m. – I’m never doing this again.

I’ve applied aloe to my sunburn for the 8^th time in the last hour. We are stuck in traffic 30 minutes from home. Sand is all over the floor of the car. I’ve never been this tired in my life, but hey, I spent time with my friends, and that’s what makes everything worthwhile.