Since I’ve been in church, David has always been the most interesting character in the Bible to me. The guy just had the craziest life. At some point between the ages of 12 and 15, he faced the mightiest warrior all of Israel had ever faced, and beat him with a rock. At 25, he was anointed king of Israel, spent 5 years running from a ferocious manhunt run by his successor, and assumed the throne at 30. He reigned for 40 years, won countless battles, and brought Israel to the pinnacle of its success. Oh, and before any of that he would kill bears and lions with nothing but a staff to protect his father’s sheep.

The thing I think I connected with most about David was his strength and his leadership. He was the guy everyone looked to. He was the guy that always knew what to do, and he was the guy who God always trusted to do the right thing. He’s described as “a man after his own heart.” (1 Samuel 13:14b). That phrase, a man after God’s own heart, a person who was so close to the heart of God and knew him so well that you could just see what God wanted, was always what I desired for myself, but I don’t think I really understood what that meant until now.

I always assumed that because David was such a strong guy, being a man after God’s own heart meant working on yourself, fixing your weaknesses and honing your strengths until you could really be the man God created you to be, but I wasn’t looking at this phrase the right way. Being a man after God’s own heart, or a woman after God’s own heart, or a husband or a wife or a child or a brother or a sister after God’s own heart is not about making yourself better, it’s about making yourself less.

You see, David wasn’t the success that he was because he thought about how David could be better all the time. The times he did that were actually the times he failed. Those are the times in our lives when we are left feeling disappointed, guilty, shameful, and unworthy. It’s the times that we buckle down, deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow our Savior wherever he may being going, knowing the Son of God has nowhere to rest his head, knowing that the path of righteousness is narrow, and knowing that righteousness is found in Him alone, that we find the heart of God.

It’s not your strengths that God wants. It’s not your talent. It’s not your good looks or your athleticism or your people skills. God wants you, and he died to get you. So, don’t try to build yourself up. Rest in the indescribable peace of knowing that the Holy Spirit lives in you, and God wants to do amazing things if you will just step back and let him do it.