I cringed when I saw that everyone's favorite biologically inaccurate yellow sponge was getting, of all things, a Broadway debut, but that might just be because I'm heavily biased against musicals. Despite loving theatre as much as I do, I've never loved musicals that much. Maybe I'm just bitter because I can't sing or maybe I think breaking into song too often has a tendency to take away from the rest of the show. Either way, it's an irrational dislike and I've done my best to get past it. "Fun Home" did wonders for that. Back to SpongeBob, though. It's all happening so fast, too: the premiere date is next June and SpongeBob has been cast already, though who exactly is playing him hasn't been revealed yet. Normally, I wouldn't bat an eyelash at this- rather I'd just lump it in with the seething cesspool of subpar Disney musicals that I really hope to never see again (I'm looking at you, Tarzan).

However, unexpectedly, something wonderful is happening, and I'm definitely making it a point to see this show for a couple reasons. A few of those reasons are The Flaming Lips, Panic! at the Disco, They Might Be Giants, Dirty Projectors and David Bowie, all of whom are- and I can't believe I'm writing this- creating original music for "SpongeBob SquarePants Broadway Musical."

And it's not just those four artists- TI's on this, and Cyndi Lauper too- check out the full list, it's crazy. I'm not cringing any more about this inevitable theatrical masterwork. I'm somewhere between deeply confused and excited: what in hell is this thing going to sound like? In an effort to answer my own question, I've done some research and have pinpointed one song by each artist I mentioned that could have a spot in the score.

Answer: this thing is going to sound RIDICULOUS.

THE FLAMING LIPS

Wayne Coyne's psychedelic rock project is no stranger to the stage. Back in 2012 an entire musical titled and based on the album Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots debuted in LA, but sadly never made its way to Broadway. I say sadly not because it was definitely worth seeing but because I lived in Massachusetts in 2012 and couldn't make it to California. Dripping with sci-fi and anime influences and a story about an artist battling cancer, it was more of a visual treat, something I'd be really interested to see incorporated into SpongeBob's new show in some way. I know the casting call wants Patrick to be a bald guy but wouldn't a 40-foot tall robotic starfish be more interesting and groundbreaking to have on stage? Critics would love it. The Flaming Lipsare also no strangers to SpongeBob either, having contributed the song "SpongeBob and Patrick Confront the Psychic Wall of Energy" to the 2004 SpongeBob movie.

WE'RE MOST LIKELY TO HEAR SOMETHING LIKE: The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song, At War With The Mystics (2006)

"The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" sounds like it's straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon- Cartoon Network actually used it in a promo for one of their shows. Bouncy and full of color with a bass that just doesn't let you stay sitting down, this song would definitely have kids singing along in the theatre to some extent (it's pretty easy: most of the lyrics are just "yeah") but as it's a pretty dark song with some serious political themes, it probably doesn't have a spot in a SpongeBob cast recording.

PANIC! AT THE DISCO

It's no secret that Brendon Urie is a theatre fan. Their first album had two song titles pulled directly from Patrick Marber's Closer, and a few veiled references to Cabaret. They released a pretty respectable cover of "Skid Row (Downtown)" from Little Shop of Horrors, and on top of that, their 2008 documentary has the word "Theatre" in it! Obviously, they were made to write music for SpongeBob.

WE'RE MOST LIKELY TO HEAR SOMETHING LIKE:This Is Gospel (Piano Version), Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die (2014)

Every Broadway show needs a good heartbreaker, and I'll be damned if this couldn't be it. Imagine SpongeBob sitting atop a coral peak in the midst of the vast, sweeping Jellyfish Fields, hammering this out on a piano. I don't know who he'd be singing to but it'd do the job. I'd have goosebumps. "Gospel" has a very peppy musicality despite its subject matter, and bridges the gap between Panic's old sound and new sound fairly well. The only issue I can see with this song is how heavily jaded it sounds at times, especially in the hook-- since Panic's an emo pop band, I'd expect nothing less-- but this would be dark. Despite this, the video-- Brendon Urie at a piano having various things (confetti, eggs, chicken nuggets, etc.) hurled at/dropped on him-- is something I'm sure a 6 year-old has smiled at before, and I'm sure they'd appreciate a similar thing happening onstage.

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

This Brooklyn alternative duo is probably most famous for writing the theme song for Malcolm in the Middle, but the rest of their discography is nothing to turn up one's nose at. They're two of the most prolific indie musicians out there, touring and churning out new music almost constantly from 1988 until today. I first found out about them through Homestar Runner, the pivotal flash animation website of the 2000's, which they wrote quite a few songs for. Speaking of which...

WE'RE MOST LIKELY TO HEAR SOMETHING LIKE: Crystal Fortress (2008)

Replace "Strong Bad" with Squidward, and the squealy guitars with clarinet. Boom. Next!

DIRTY PROJECTORS

Oh man, I love these guys. Dirty Projectors is one of the few projects I'd put in the same aesthetic category as the Talking Heads, and after David Byrne's 2010 musical Here Lies Love, I'm absolutely ecstatic to see what this band could bring to a SpongeBob musical. They're kind of a supergroup, retroactively: Amber Coffman's just plain super in her own right, and Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend and Angel Deradoorian have both been a part of the group at points. Also, they had an album called Bitte Orca in 2009. Orca. Underwater. SpongeBob. Coincidence? Absolutely.

WE'RE MOST LIKELY TO HEAR SOMETHING LIKE:Knotty Pine, Dark Was The Night (2009)

Knotty Pine, the lead track from the Dessner brothers' Red Hot Organization benefits album, is a duo piece between the Projectors and-- hey, what do you know-- David Byrne of the Talking Heads. The song is simple enough to be satisfying even if played with just a piano and a guitar (check the live version out). The lyrics are both direct and catchy with a beautiful treehouse-y artistry to them. The song may not have a spot in a musical but the style certainly does, and the call and response structure the track goes for lends itself especially well to a musical aimed at a younger audience. Please put something like this on Broadway.

DAVID BOWIE

I don't even have to write anything about David Bowie. The man is a legend. He's theatrical as hell, I mean just look at him. Look at him GO. Anything he's done would work perfectly. Use something like Life On Mars?, something like Modern Love, Under Pressure, The Man Who Sold The World, anything. Please, please, PLEASE promote whoever got Bowie for this score. This was a such a good call.

He's so good I don't even want to write this article anymore. I just want this SpongeBob soundtrack to come out tomorrow.

Wow. That's something I thought I'd never say.