Yeah that’s right. He’s won about 10 Grammys and is a beloved fan favorite, always doing total bro moves like soldiering through an on-tour broken leg. But I fucking hate Dave Grohl. Everything about him and his band, the Foo Fighters, screams bubble gum, Gap commercial, Kid’s Choice Awards -- whatever is the exact opposite of rock and roll and Nirvana (where Dave started), which leaves me agonizing about poor Kurt Cobain, who is probably up there averting his beautiful blue angel eyes, his former bandmate having become...totally fucking lame.
In the teen spirit of 2018, I am going to use two protest stories to demonstrate Dave’s tragic transformation. The first takes place in 2015 Kansas, U.S.A. A Foo Fighters concert was being protested by America’s go-to scum of the Earth -- the Westboro Baptist Church. You know -- “Your veteran killed in combat/gay son who committed suicide is going to hell” -- those people. The Foos reacted to the disturbance by providing a little exclusive performance. They set up outside and launched into a rendition of “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley; it was a classic rickroll.
The internet loved it; but ladies and gentlemen, nothing was on the line. Literally everyone hates the Westboro Baptist Church and the (counter)protest action itself was in the form of a joke. Commendable to make fun of those haters, but a little soft for a son of Nirvana wouldn’t you say?
If you wouldn’t, let me send it back to 1992, specifically the night of Nirvana’s debut “Saturday Night Live” performance. During the traditional closing credits and goodnights sequence, the band members began making out with one another in a reportedly spontaneous effort to "piss off the rednecks and homophobes".
Consider the risk of this public and physical action in comparison with 2015 Dave’s cheeky ditty. This was the early 90’s -- a different universe from our current one in terms of sexual orientation acceptance. Nirvana had released “Nevermind” only about 3 months before and were still in mid-rise. To shock studio execs like this on live TV was an incredibly bold move. Hell, television was a different universe as well, it mattered. Nirvana wasn’t about to get discovered on the internet. Surely enough, SNL cut the kissing from repeat airings (a long way from their thumbs-up progressiveness today, or even 2002). Nirvana knew they were making a true and controversial stand on behalf of a marginalized community, and when it comes to marginalized communities, that's the only kind that ever matters.
Now, biting the hand that feeds is dicey, but it is a popular move in rock music. Nirvana’s makeout ponied up much more. Again, this was a world and a music scene in which rapper Eazy-E was embarrassed to find that he was HIV-positive simply because of its perceived association with homosexuality. Punk music still had plenty of macho-hetero requirements; yet Nirvana was more than willing to cast aside any fangirls and idolizing young punks who couldn’t stomach the statement they wanted to make.
To reign in, “Piss off” vs. rickroll says it all -- Dave Grohl has completely lost any element of danger. So far from his “fuck you” french kissing is his appeasing broken leg troopery. And while I suppose it’s natural to clean up one’s act with age (Ice Cube, Bon Jovi), what likely pains angel Cobain is Dave’s refusal to admit what has happened. He’s still got the long hair and, oh yeah, that “rendition” of “Never Gonna Give You Up?” -- it was in the style of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. Dave, either get down there and start spitting on those Westboro protesters or get on The Voice and cut a country album; your one-foot-in attitude is making me hate you.