To the girl who is watching her Mom or Dad go through Hell-

I know you are grieving silently. I know it is hard to take care of your whole family while you are trying to get through school and take care of yourself. It may seem like everyone is too preoccupied with the diagnosis to ask you how you are- and you feel selfish for even thinking about yourself for a second.

Not everyone understands your strength. It is not easy to live everyday as a young adult, wondering if your parent with cancer will be at your college graduation, if they will see you get married or be there to hold your first child. Those are usually a given for most kids. Balancing work, class, your social life, and cancer on top of it all is draining. On the outside, you are just trying to get by and look put together so you don't have to explain what is really going on.

You are constantly worried that when you are on the phone with your Mom or Dad, there is always a chance it could be the last time.

Hospital trips become a normalcy. The cold, gray waiting room becomes too familiar, and the pit in your stomach begins to stay permanently. Cancer becomes a household name, and for months and even years, your life revolves around this disease. Even though your parent is physically battling, your emotional battle is far worse than you could have ever imagined.

Every lunch, dinner, family outing, and memory becomes a privilege in your mind- an opportunity you may never get again- depending on the next update from the doctor.

You become used to tears- usually by yourself- because your parent is already in enough pain and you do not want to add to it. They are going through so much, and making them more stressed is the last thing you want to do. You're supposed to be the strong one, right? Although you may have family and friends around you, you cannot help but feel isolated. You begin to become mad at God, and question why this had to happen to your family. You wonder if you did something wrong in your life, and this is the universes punishment.

You get used to the friends who say they're sorry, and try not to get upset when they attempt to relate to you. You know they're only trying to help and make you feel better, but cancer is a unique battle that not everyone understands. You feel happy for them, that they don't understand. It is something that no one ever should.

As dark as the days may get, you become the strongest version of yourself. You are given a horrible test- but it is nothing you cannot conquer. And although your parent is battling, they are so lucky to have you there next to them. This test shows you that the world does not owe you anything, and life is far from fair. And although this is a hard lesson to learn, it is one that most will not discover for many years.

You begin to appreciate the little things, and you realize how important your parents are. Cancer is a disgusting, heartless thing, but it can never break the bond between you and your parent. You now understand the meaning of unconditional love that not even death can take away.

Whether your parent is there for your wedding or gains their wings before, you realize through their illness how much family matters. You cannot help but be incredibly proud of your parent for fighting so hard and so fearlessly. There are so many people out there who do not receive the gift of appreciating their parents until it is too late. Although cancer may seem like it has torn your family apart, in a way it has brought you so much closer- and that is something to be forever thankful for.

You are brave, and you're a survivor, too.