For some strange, inexplicable reason, my friends like to come to me for dating advice. Even though I should be the last person on their list. Not only have I never had a boyfriend, I also have no brothers, which means my experience and ability to understand the mind of a guy is literally zero. I don't even know how one goes about getting a boyfriend. Like is there some sort of store or something? Do I just go to the local Boyfriends R Us and pick one up? And even if I were to get a boyfriend, I would have no idea what to do. Like, am I expected to talk to him? How often does he need to be fed? Are we supposed to go out on dates? It's all very confusing.

I don't know. I also don't know girls' minds. So, I definitely should not be giving relationship advice. But, they ask me anyway. Maybe it's because I am a logical, rational person. Maybe it's because I have never tried to jump into a relationship or rush anything. Maybe it's because I have spent considerable amounts of time preparing myself to be in a relationship by praying, chasing God, figuring out who I am, and thinking about who, what, why, when, and how, I want a relationship. But, whatever the reasons are, they come to me for advice. Which I give, to the best of my ability.

Recently, I had a friend come to me and tell me that she had a crush on a guy and wasn't sure what to do about it. So, I asked her why she had a crush on the guy.

"Well, he's really cute and he chats with me on Facebook. I've known him for a few years, maybe two or three. I see him in person too, but every time I go to talk to him I get too nervous and I can't."

"How many times have you actually talked in real life?" I asked her.

"I don't know. A few times. But, it's been mostly greetings and small talk. Because I always get too nervous." And I honesty didn't know what to tell her.

Because this is what dating has become like in today's world. And that's terrifying. It's like this: we fall in love with an online version of a real person. But, when we talk to them or see them in real life, we get so nervous and don't know what to say or how to act. And okay, I've been there too. You see the guy you like and suddenly your ability to form full sentences and not be an idiot disappears. I get it. I've been there more times than I would like to admit. Or you end up saying something that was supposed to be funny, but was just mean. I've been there too. But, in order for a relationship to begin, a strong friendship has to form first. And an online friendship, a friendship built on only texting or Facebook messaging, is not a solid foundation for a relationship.

Because online, you can be whoever you want to be. You can be perfect. You don't have to post about your flaws or your mistakes. When chatting online, you have time to plan a response. Like, when people text me and I don't text back right away, it's usually not because I don't see it. I'm around my phone a lot more than I would like to admit. I don't respond right away because I'm thinking about what to say. How to not offend you, how to make it sound like I care without being too nosy or whatever. Also, I'm funny in real life, but online I have a few more moments to make myself sound a little funnier. To find the exact words with the right syntax to make that tweet hilarious.

And, this doesn't just go for tweets, texts, or Facebook statuses. It goes for photos too. When I post a selfie, all you see is the finished product, but what you don't see is the dozens of others I took before settling on the one whose lighting brought out my eyes the best and covered that giant pimple on my forehead the best. You don't see the number of times I got up to adjust the light or change positions or fix my hair or redo my makeup.

I haven't actually posted that many selfies on Instagram in my life. But I have a folder of 100+ photos that would prove just how many I have taken (many more than I like admitting). And those are unedited. I still have to find the perfect filter before actually posting it. You see what the poster perceives to be perfection. You never see people posting on Facebook about that time they failed a test or missed a goal, but you see all the times they got 100s or scored the winning point. Nobody tweets about their flaws. We tweet about our accomplishments, the things that make us desirable. And that's the danger.

You see, we look at a social media profile of that guy or girl we like, and we see perfection. We see everything we are not. We compare ourselves to a seemingly perfect person, because we are not seeing the whole person. We are seeing only what they want us to see. We fall in love not with a person, but with a presence- an imagined person. A person we have created using the limited details we receive from their social media profiles and few in person interactions. And this is dangerous.

But this is what dating has become. Social media interactions. Relationships built on text messages and tweets. Posing for cute Instagram photos and adorable comments on Facebook posts. And that's not a relationship. That's just posting about one so others know you have one. The real relationships, the ones that last, are built on communication and genuine friendship. Communication outside of social media. In person. Communication that is more than sitting by the phone waiting around for her to text back. Communication that allows you two to sit in silence, or laugh, or talk about deep internal feelings, and feel comfortable. And friendship based on attraction toward the other person, not based on looks or hormones, but based on personality and character.

Now, am I saying not to post on social media or talk with your friends? Absolutely not. Like his tweet. Comment on the Facebook status or Instagram selfie. Message or text her. In fact, I'm a girl. And I love that. I love the little flutter my heart would do when my phone vibrated and I saw his name flash on the screen.

But, be careful. Don't give your heart away to someone with whom you have an Internet relationship only. Don't start a relationship with someone who you aren't comfortable with in person. Form a strong friendship, outside of the social media sphere. Learn who they are as a person, not just who they want others to see. And please, above all else, pray about it. Guard your heart. Protect it. Let God handle your heart. Because He's already got a great plan in store for it. So, reach out and be brave. Be comfortable. But, also, be prayerful and cautious. Don't fall for an online version of someone. Don't have a relationship built on over the phone interactions and not in person friendship.