Someone recently asked me why I was single. Something I hadn’t really sat down and looked at for myself. I could give you a mile long list of why I don’t want to be with someone right now. “I want to be independent,” “I’m not ready to date right now,” blah blah blah. When you finally sit down and look at the “dating world” as it is today, you’ll see that it’s actually just a bunch of bull. I’ve learned in my short six years of serious dating what I do and don’t want, as well as remembered how painfully hard it is to be single today.

These days there is so much pressure on people to make sure everything pans out perfectly. Even the word “date” scares some people. The word makes the situation real versus if you were to just say that you’re hanging out with someone, which in reality is the same thing as a date, it’s no biggie. Dates these days are unrealistic because of the expectations people put on them. “Make sure you take them somewhere nice,” “the guy has to pay for the dinner or he isn’t a true gentleman,” “make sure not to seem too eager or talk too much.” Since when were all of these rules created for you to spend time with someone that you like?! Think about it; if you really like someone should you really care if they pick up the tab or not? Sure, it’s nice and thoughtful of them, but they shouldn’t have to flash their money to impress you and you shouldn’t expect someone that you just started talking to to take care of everything for you.

When someone says that they aren’t ready to date it usually means that they aren’t ready to get hurt again. Totally understandable, yet they can’t tell someone that because it makes them look vulnerable. You can’t call someone after a date because it makes you look too eager. You have to wait three days before texting someone after a casual fling just to make sure they know you’re not “too interested.” You can’t ask to hang out too much or you’ll look clingy. You can’t go after someone because they’re out of your league. Who the hell says that you can’t go after someone because you think that they’re too good for you? Who makes those standards? Who decides that only certain people can be with each other? Here’s a thought, if you like someone then just tell them! If you want to hang out with someone, ask them. And most importantly if someone thinks less of you for wanting to do these things, walk away.

Know your worth and know that you deserve to be with someone who likes spending time with you as much as you like spending time with them. Be with someone who wants to know how your day was or how you take your coffee. If someone makes you laugh, cherish that. It isn’t something you want to let go of.

So, to all of you who are swimming in the single sea, take a chance. Be willing to risk being embarrassed or not liked back. If you can see how great of a person you truly are I promise you so can someone else. Be bold, be brave, and be beautifully you.