I recently celebrated the one-year anniversary of when my boyfriend and I officially started dating. This has been a pretty nostalgic time for me. I've been looking back on our relationship - the ups and downs, the goods and bads - and I think I've learned a lot from this year of being together. This has been my first relationship, and I'm so glad that it's lasted this long. I thought I'd compile a short and sweet list of things I think you should know if you've just started dating (or even if you've been dating for a long time).
Here's what I learned about dating relationships over the past year:
1. Communication is key.
You will hear every successful couple tell you that the secret to their long-lasting, healthy, happy relationship is communication. I am not saying anything new - I'm reaffirming that this is 100 percent true! If you want to be in any relationship of any kind, whether romantic or not, you have to communicate. Do NOT expect the other person to be able to read your mind. No, they shouldn't automatically know why they've upset you - you haven't told them yet! Be open and honest with each other. As a couple, you guys have got to stay on the same page. You've got to be in sync. If you're not, you'll end up confused and arguing all the time (and you may not even be arguing about the same thing).
2. Respect each other.
To be honest, I've had a lot of crushes on a lot of guys. What makes my boyfriend different is that I not only like him, I respect him. I respect his opinions. I respect his intelligence and passion. I respect his interests. I respect his boundaries and values. If there isn't mutual respect in a relationship, it's doomed from the start. I firmly believe that you can never be satisfied, happy, content, etc. with someone you don't respect.
3. Encourage each other.
A lot can happen in a year. There have been so many times that I've needed my boyfriend to encourage and motivate me. I've been heartbroken, angry, afraid, and anxious, and he has always been there for me. That's, like, rule number one of any relationship: they have to be there. They need to be there emotionally for you. If they don't care about your feelings or if they constantly try to frustrate or hurt you, then don't even bother. They don't love you, and you have no time for them.
4. Bring out the best in each other.
I got the idea for this tip from the lion in the GIF from tip number three. I've realized over the past year that my boyfriend has really helped me become a better version of myself. I've learned a lot from him and our relationship, and he has encouraged me to grow and learn. He's honest with me about my mistakes, and when I'm wrong or doing something that isn't good for me, he'll let me know. The lion in the GIF tries to make the man feel better by telling him he's flawless. The problem is that that isn't true. We aren't flawless - we're human. We make mistakes, and we can be stupid at times. That's why it's important to let each other know when one of you is making a mistake or is doing something that needs to be fixed. Don't just ignore it or accept that they're "just that way." You guys are a team, and you need to help bring the best out of each other. Don't try to change them - people won't really change unless they want to - but do help them grow. I'm so glad that my boyfriend has helped bring the best out of me, and I think it's a really important part of a relationship.
5. You never really know.
I never would have thought that I would end up where I am today. Over a year ago, when I just had a secret crush on this guy, I couldn't have imagined that I'd actually be with him today. And little did I know when I confessed to liking him that we would be here today. Life is crazy, so take that chance. You never know what'll happen. Don't be afraid to love. Don't be afraid to tell someone how you feel. Don't be afraid to put everything you have into making a relationship work. Even if it doesn't work out, even if they reject your date, even if you break up, it'll be worth it. No relationship is a waste - you can always learn something from the experience and the person. Obviously, be wise. Don't ask someone out on a date if you know it won't work out or if you know they aren't a good person to be dating. But don't let fear keep you from making a good decision. I'm so glad that I didn't!
These are some of the key things I've learned about relationships. Is this a complete and comprehensive list? Heck no! Relationships are difficult, romantic or not. Whenever you're dealing with people, there are so many things to learn about them and from them. It's wonderful, though. These tips have helped me so much, and I hope that they help you too.
Good luck!
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