As humans, we have access to a spectrum of emotions, and through all the overwhelming pain or happiness we’ve endured, there’s no feeling comparable to the rollercoaster we willingly sit first row to for first relationships. Through the innocence of a first crush, to feeling like he’s “the one,” the progression of age, along with a gathering of experiences, lead to the development of awareness for the significance of particular qualities in life.

Elementary school innocence

It’s a time when hand holding was rumored to contract cooties, or babies, depending on which decade you grew up in. The prettiest girl in class would boldly say, “Johnny Random and I went on a date, he held my hand and kissed me right on the cheek” with a pretentious little smirk, and all the girls went “awww” and “whoa.” And because you envied the attention she received, you decided to hold hands with your best friend Bob Typical, who wrote you a little love note along with a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Even without an official announcement, suddenly everyone knew you two were “boyfriend and girlfriend.” You didn’t commit so much for the thrills as much as it was for all the other girls in class to be envious of you. You and Bob would play chase during recess, because even at such a naïve age, you’ve quickly learned that the chase is the best part.

Middle school illusions

These are the years of going through a miscellaneous array of emotions because your body is undergoing extreme physical changes, which have played a role on your rationality. You’re envious of the girl with the perfect skin, because quite frankly, your face looks more like the surface of a raspberry. You just came back from the dentist a week ago with a shiny set of braces, and they now match Robby Appleseed’s. Neither of your parents knows you two are “going to get married in 10 years,” and you know that even if you told them, they wouldn’t understand. However, for the time being, your “dates” are constrained to school hours only. These encounters consist mostly of hand-holding, awkward glances, and self-consciousness. You find it weird how when you’re away from him he’s all you can think about, though now that you’re next to him, the anxiety and nervousness of a potential screw-up surpass the chance of being happy.

High school sweethearts

The braces came off a year before and your skin has finally cleared up. Now your parents actually approve of you dating, and they’ve agreed to drive you places as long as you agree to be home before 10. You romanticize the movie date to gradually lead to a first kiss, and it does. There’s an incomparable level of comfort you feel with him that is absent with others. With all the anxiety and distress gone, you finally have the chance to pursue a potentially successful relationship, even though the fear of separation when college comes around still looms in the air.

College

What you’ve always dreamed as a proper date has finally become a reality, he pulls up to your dorm in a car, pulls out flowers, and opens your door like a gentleman. Jack Anonymous is proper, polite, clean cut, and you think he may be “the one.” You feel content and happy around him, but there are moments when you miss the emotional rollercoasters you used to experience.

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

As we move forward in life, there are things that we learn to grow from, and in the outgrown shells, we find the remains of a lesson we once learned that has now grown into our wisdom.