We aren’t anxious for no reason—be it rooted in genetics or in traumatic past relationships, we have trust issues, man, and it take a really special, patient, awesome guy to figure out how to handle us.

At the beginning we will be totally guarded. We are petrified to let people in. Maybe it’s because we have abandonment issues or maybe the last four assholes who broke our hearts finally took a toll on us and taught us a lesson: nobody is to ever be trusted, ever, under any circumstance.

We know you are not the other people we’ve dated, but experience has taught us that every little thing is something to worry about.

If you sense us acting distant, chances are we don’t actually want space. We probably are worried that we are bothering you, and what we need is for you to show us that you want us around. Picking up on signals and hints is not our thing. We need to be explicitly told, or else one wrong facial expression will be the topic of our over analysis for the next three to five hours.

Once we get comfortable with you, and we inevitably will, we will become attached. We like the idea of the perfect man who “understands” us and “would never hurt” us. But once we hit that point, that’s when the real fear sets in.

We have been conditioned to believe that happiness only leads to pain, so instead of enjoying ourselves, we will be stuck worrying about when the bad thing is going to happen. It's so hard not to get caught up in all of the awful scenarios our minds are constantly creating for us.

The ten minutes you took to reply to my text message was just the right amount of time for you to have: a. decided you are no longer interested; b. cheated on us with someone much prettier and better suited to your needs; c. died.

We know we are difficult and “crazy” and very hard to please, but please take note of the fact that we are trying. While we understand that it is very hard for you to keep up with us, it is also extremely difficult for us to take an adventure outside of our racing minds and enjoy the things that are actually presently making us happy.

But bear with us, because if you let us we will love you more genuinely and wholly than anybody else.