dating someone with a mental illness | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

My Boyfriend Made Me Feel Loved When I Found It Hard To Love Myself

I realized someone can still love me despite my mental illness.

670
My Boyfriend Made Me Feel Loved When I Found It Hard To Love Myself
Photo credit: Charlotte Kurz

I was diagnosed with my first mental illness when I was 20. I saw my doctor, started taking meds, and briefly did some therapy before returning to college for my junior year. I met my now-boyfriend the first weekend back, and we instantly clicked. things were so easy. They just felt right.

The only problem was that I was terrified to tell him that I was struggling; that I was setting up appointments at the counseling center and with a psychiatrist. My friends at the time tried to talk me into keeping my anxiety a secret, that it would be too much baggage and that he'd want to leave when he found out I wasn't "perfect."

I decided to tell him anyway. He was so completely understanding it took my breath away. He walked me to my first counseling appointment, holding my hand and introducing himself to my therapist. I couldn't believe that I had this amazing guy who not only wanted to be with me, but also was so supportive of my struggles. I felt really lucky.

Things were not always easy, especially in the beginning when I really didn't have the words to speak about how I was feeling. There were many nights where I just cried, and he sat with me, so patient, even though he didn't really understand what I was going through. There have been times that we've gotten frustrated with each other because he can't help me if he "doesn't know what's going on." And yet, he never once left or made me feel more alone.

I think our communication has improved tenfold since I've been in therapy and treatment. We've both come to realize that he doesn't have to totally understand what's going on to be supportive, and I've come to recognize that he's my person, and telling him what I feel and what I need isn't a burden.

Through my most recent relapse this past winter, I really saw just how challenging and straining mental illness can be on a relationship. I was so scared to tell anyone besides my treatment team that I was struggling, so I kept things a secret from my boyfriend. He obviously was more intuitive than that, though, and knew I was having a hard time again with food. He'd call or text me throughout the day, asking if I'd had breakfast, what I had for lunch, how my day was going. This kind of gentle support made the biggest difference, where I felt like I wasn't alone, and I knew I had someone to keep me accountable to my recovery.

There are still the hard days. I think the most challenging part of dating with a mental illness is realizing that someone else can love you deeply, even if you're having a tough time loving yourself. This extends through my eating disorder, which constantly tells me I'm not good enough for anyone and that my body is not attractive to anyone, especially my partner.

Nick has been the best partner in crime through my recovery, assuring me that my eating disorder is lying to me and that he can love me enough for both of us, while I'm working on getting there myself. I know that my mental illnesses aren't the easiest to deal with, but I think we've become a stronger team because of everything we've conquered--together.

Three years later, I'm happily in love with this wonderful human, and in the best place mentally that I've ever been in. I don't think that's a coincidence, and for all of the support always, I am beyond thankful.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
legally blonde

College is filled with many things, and we're so often lectured to make the right decisions as we head out on our own into the college life. But sometimes it's necessary to indulge in some guilty pleasures as well as just doing things because you can. And honestly, a lot of the time it's inevitable. College is no piece of cake that's for sure, so it's okay to do some things you deep down know you shouldn't....once in a while anyways.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Things to avoid your freshman year of college

Having this list as you enter college will be extremely valuable and beneficial to experiencing the best year of your life!

1686
girl friends
Madison Morgan

Ahhh good ol' freshman year. The best times and the worst times. Going to college six hours from home was the best decision I had ever made for myself, but the transition would have been much smoother had I known the things I know now. You cannot take on this beast by yourself, so allow me to lend a hand and guide you through one of the most exciting and different years of your life thus far. I have compiled a list of 10 key things to avoid your freshman year of college in order to ensure a smooth, happy, and fun first year!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

13 Thoughts Everyone Has During Lecture

Chances are, they have nothing to do with what you're actually supposed to be learning.

225
student in class
Polish Magazine

Let's face it. We've all had those days when it's almost impossible to stay awake or focus during lecture. We often find ourselves dozing off or just staring out into space when we really should be paying attention to what's going on in class. Regardless of whether or not you admit this happens, here are 13 thoughts every student has during lecture:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

A Deep Dive Into Taylor Swift’s Albums: 1989 (Taylor’s Version) Edition

I just know that the idea of releasing vault tracks came out of the moment Taylor remembered she wrote 'Is It Over Now?'

302
A Deep Dive Into Taylor Swift’s Albums: 1989 (Taylor’s Version) Edition
Edited by Hailey Hastings

I am fully emersed into diving deep into every single Taylor Swift album, which I do on my own all the time, but wanted to do it in a way where I am sharing what a special discography she has. I feel like 1989 is the perfect place to start, it's an era that changed everything, and will always be an album people automatically think of when you say "Taylor Swift."

Keep Reading...Show less
friends

Here you will find a list of many of the people you will come across in your life, and if you're lucky, you'll be able to give a name to all these characters that you hopefully see day to day. Don't take these friends for granted because they all add a little something to your life, and if you can't name all of them to your personal friends, chances are it might be you...

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments